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Okay, But​.​.​.

by Social Anxiety

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1.
03:56
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4.
02:35

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released May 6, 2017

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Social Anxiety Los Angeles, California

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Track Name: Foreplay:
Bumpin’ new shit in the whip with a dope chick
She got a kid so the hustle in her don’t quit
I ain’t rich, I ain’t shit but let’s see what this gets
So the clock will continue to tick, tick, tick, tick
Green tea fix cuz the drinks and the drugs don’t mix
Learned this from a slipped disc in a crash that stole bliss
The best coast stole a ghost from the parasite’s host, shit
At most I will boast about the cost of this trope for a dope hit
You know I’m on ropes for a drug that I won’t kick
Toke on a smoke for a high that I can’t quit
Invoke all the jokes ‘cause this part has no kick
Implode all the modes ‘cause this deal’s got no vig
Go for throats with the knife you used to slit wrists
Go for gold if silver’s a sliver of what life gives
When you see every bad bitch earned good dick
You won’t quit ‘cause if life’s a trip, it’ll be done quick

You don’t have a career, you’re an indentured servant
And a social security check is the lube they’re using
So that makes you a sex slave to capitalism’s delusion
That you can have it all without ever truly abusing it
All mind over matter ever got me was rampant disaster
These fucks should cut the laughter before I cut out their bladders
Fat pigs in suit and ties to hide the wolf in their chatter
Chasing sheeple off a cliff cuz they easily scatter
All these cats trying to be the next Aesop when they're more A$AP
So I put a bomb in the backpack rap and now I'm more boom than bap
My girlfriend is waiting on the track that puts me on the map
So I'm attacking this rap like I'm on a felony path
I’ve desired to walk the path of an artist wearing a mask
But these metaphors still lead you to the truth too fast
They say I’m as empty as the flask hidden in my desk
Well, that explains some of the voices in my head
That keep leading me to dizziness and shortness of breath
You’re only ever as alive as the energy put into your death
So somehow I’m still buckled into a bumpy ride
On a bridge deciding between accidental death or suicide
‘Cause everyone always assumes that they’re good to drive
I’ve learned enough to know everything’s meant to collide
I’ve lived long enough to see all birds aren’t meant to fly
So I try to forget about these useless wings by chasing different highs

Studied the thoughts that led me to oblivion
Cherished the rot that led to indifference
Perished on top of a mountain of ignorance
All in order to make money off of deliverance
I’d pay for peace of mind but it’s so hard to find
All the love inside just helps my anxiety rise
I’d pay for more time if I was sure I’d be fine
But there’s a few things I saw on the other side
I’ve been waiting all my life to feel this alive
It’s offset by the perfect amount of feeling dead inside
I’ve been waiting a long time to experience this high
Just didn’t expect for it to be so nearby
Realized I’m more villainous than indifferent
‘Cause my body count just hit double digits
Realized I’m more Ian Curtis than Sid Vicious
If love tears me apart then I say good riddance

Graduated past human form into a prism
That lives like a Dali locked away in a prison
I’m not rapping to beats I’m rapping to beat sleep
I’m rapping to beat these cheats that herd us like sheep
I’m vilifying all these fucking presidential decrees
‘Till you correlate Social Anxiety with obscenity
I’ve got the biggest mouth in the room and the sharpest knife too
So I’m always ready to talk shit and castrate ego’s in bloom
If I go to bed empty now it’s all on me
‘cause she fills me up with all I need constantly
But there’s a voice in my head nagging at me
Sayin’ I don’t deserve to make realities of my dreams
I’m so fucked up now it’s getting hard to sleep
‘cause she’s everything I need and don’t want her to leave
I’m so fucked up now it’s getting hard to breathe
‘cause I keep confusing primal needs for bad dreams
If I can get through this phase then I’ll be fine
That’s when the darker parts of me like to collide
‘cause when she’s in my view all these voices subside
There’s an elegant truth in pretending you’re alright
Track Name: Dexter Morgan
Girl, I’m an abscess that landed on your mattress
Watch as I backflip a script to numb the panic
Fade to the blackness, I always bring the tragic
Pain in a status, I always bring the havoc
Cut to the madness, get high off the static
Fuck with a savage with nothing to salvage
Bury your baggage with a habit to bandage
Smoke the solutions, buzz off the acid
Wear these contusions to cause a nuisance
Hang off the noose end from a thick neck
Dive with purpose into the deep end
Life’s too short to not kill bad friends

I hate you all
I hate you all
I hate you all
I’d watch you fall
I hate you all
I hate you all
I hate you all
I’d make you fall

Hate on display so here take a plate
Fill it up to displace things the internet creates
Lay me to waste with baggage to claim
But my girl carries it with a smile on her face
Her and Kai are drops of love in a pit of hate
I can’t control the emptiness life engrains
I can’t control where the bloodstains remain
If it’s all in my head I think I need a new brain
Mark a date to never be saved
Don’t believe in god, he’s a delusion of the sane
Did all the drugs to find my higher brain
Drank ayahuasca till I escaped mind states
If the chick hit you with a can of mace
That means you should get outta her face
Back down boy, there’ll be problems today
If ya don’t cut out that fuckboy shit right away

I shouldn’t have to say half the things I say
But you’re all a bunch of idiots with shit for brains
Water is life, can’t drink oil dummy
Black lives matter, end of story
I’m wasting days at the thought of this pace
Anxiety is willing my haste away
I’m carving my name into the walk of fame
Like I graffitied Ronald Reagan’s grave
My story’s filled with chapters
where I almost hung from rafters
All because the world doesn’t
Like me as a rapper
Now I’m numb to chatter
And little pitter-patters
‘Cause I’ve come to the conclusion
You’re all a bunch of actors
Simply a disaster
putting mind over matter
and now I don’t matter
Cut to the banter

I’m trying to break
Free of these chains
They comes as thoughts
That drive me insane
I’m trying to make
A name for this pain
It comes in waves
To engulf my brain
Track Name: Humpty Dumpty
My reality is latent addiction
Habits listed on a google doc around the clock
I’m an acid trip with a sadistic twist
The kind that’ll make me want to call the shots
And the voices they never stop
Long enough to let me cool off
So now everybody’s writing me off
‘Cause they think I’ll never reach the top
And I might not

Might as well chock it up to a loss
‘Cause if life’s my lover we’re star-crossed
You don’t wanna know what gets me off
‘Cause she’s only one that sets me off
When I fell I never got back up
She’s still collecting pieces of what I once was
When we’re together this never lets up
When her good met my ugly she still called it love

I’ve been wondering where I went wrong
Have I been this broken all along?
Is she here with me to journey on?
And are our hearts singing the same song?

It all starts with a fling
And either ends in love or a jump off the balcony
When I started to sing
It was to permeate through past the screams
It all starts with a fling
And either ends in love or face full of concrete
When we started to sing
I finally understood the point of Humpty Dumpty

What will it take for the world to love me?
When my whole world is way above me?
I laid there in pieces on the concrete
And you picked up the pieces and admired the gleam

(I’m just trying to do right by you
By doing right by me too
And I know I’m pretty broken
But that doesn’t seem to bother you
I’m realizing that people can’t be put back together
And that you should just admire the pieces for what they are
I’m seeing that relationships function like dustpans
But instead of throwing the pieces in the trash you put ‘em on display
So the world can see that we’re all inherently broken
But despite the chaos and the clutter we’re all worthy of love and affection
And that no matter what road life takes us
We can eventually end up going the right direction
I’d like to thank you for putting up with me
But you do so much more than put up with me
You excite my inner desires till I’m living my fantasy
You are my muse, every song I write embodies my love for you
I love you
You and only you
Thank you)
Track Name: Almost Human
A destitute aficionado, recluse with a bottle
Playing loose going full throttle shatterin’ all the models
Try it twice was the motto that got me this bravado
Play it like the lotto ‘till the screams push the envelope
I coddled the bottle ‘till the liquor made me wobble
Swallowed all the sorrow ‘till the whiskey pardoned tomorrow
Spent more than I borrowed, that’s a capitalist’s cargo
Sorry never spared me the emptiness of this plateau
Smiled like a scarecrow, shot like an arrow
Spoke like a pharaoh wrapped up and reduced to bone marrow
Walked the straight and narrow and all I got was an ego
Acted like the hero but all they saw was a weirdo
¿Hola mi amor, puedo ir contigo?
¿Te sientes solo cuando no estás conmigo?
I’ve learned a thing or two and added it to my lingo
Got my ducks in a row like life’s a game of bingo
Whenever I’m with her I feel like I’m halfway to real
I’m almost human ‘cause she’s got me head over heels
Syncopate the synchrony to comfort the company
The physics of a slippery slope prevent me from being me
So I’m smokin’ Sour D sliding into daydreams
Slid into her DM’s and she awoke my love with ease
Sometimes that leaves me trapped at the bottom of a ravine
‘Cause I’m so caught in my head you’d think my skull had teeth

Diving headfirst into doubt before the ground I’m on gives out
My disorder speaks but never look a gift horse in the mouth
‘Cause when you do you’ll see that only the truth ever comes out
And that inkling of doubt is just your head wigging out
A pauper and a prince, I’m the messiah to all masochists
A pervert and a prude calling this mess what it is
A hypocrite curtailing bliss for a figment of a tryst
Antisocial atheist misdirecting spastic fits

I’ve distorted my senses with discordian ethics
Resorted to methods other deemed unpleasant
To send forth a message of wasted adolescence
And fed my depression through sordid transgressions
I’ve explored the wreckage and been imploringly reckless
Reduced my dimension to being reluctantly sentenced
Inundated my presence with debauched lessons
Of delinquent intentions that preserve my essence

I’ve relinquished my control over escaping this terror
Because a single day spent living is never in error
I’ll continue to proceed through the stormiest weather
Because I believe with all my heart things will get better
They secure their success with rock the vote Novembers
So we’ll secure our survival by becoming dissenters
We’ll reduce these monuments to smoldering embers
Because all they stand for is the illusion of shelter

I’ve submitted to the discomfort of this specter
Learned to thrive in the darkness under extreme pressure
Made the gallows my home rather than just a measure
To sacrifice my blood and bones for her love forever
And whether or not we can embrace this gesture
I’ll always think of you and I as a treasure
So always remember when you start to feel weathered
Grass is greener on the other side ‘cause the climate is wetter