1. |
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I was born of the night, devoid of light
No easy fix for the darkness amassed inside
You think it’s chic the way it envelops me
But this ain’t a scene; it’s a goddamn murder machine
I found my footing on a trail of corpses
I don’t really know how I became this morbid
No chemicals inside I’m trying not to force it
With the end in sight I’m trying not to abort this
I’ve got a funny feeling and it feels like fury
When I catch a case watch me decimate the jury
I’ve got a 9 to 5 job of making people disappear
The lyrics I write work like a spear
When they collect the tattered remains
Of all of the people in my life I took in vain
I’d like to think you all feel the same
But the passion you see is my claim to fame
Would you steal for me?
I’d rather have you kill for me
But if you’d kill for me
You can feel for me
Cuz this is real for me
Don’t ever conceal your feelings for me
Just be real for me
I want to hear you scream
Welcome to my show, you’ve entered a pipe dream
I’ll be your guide into my psychopathic, misanthropic wanderings
This isn’t music, this is noise on key
Because I’ve had enough of these genre thieves
You thought no one could be as dark as me
You’re goddamn right, I’m the king of grief
Making the entire world get on their knees
And bob their head to the distortion I breathe
Would you steal for me?
I’d rather have you kill for me
But if you’d kill for me
You can feel for me
Cuz this is real for me
Don’t ever conceal your feelings for me
Just be real for me
I want to hear you scream
Would you steal for me?
Just don’t steal my CD
Would you kill for me?
That’s so fucking flattering
Can you feel for me?
I’d like to make you feel your feelings
Is this real enough for me?
I want to make you think
Would you steal for me?
I’d rather have you kill for me
But if you’d kill for me
You can feel for me
Cuz this is real for me
Don’t ever conceal your feelings for me
Just be real for me
I want to hear you scream
Would you steal for me?
I’d rather have you kill for me
But if you’d kill for me
You can feel for me
Cuz this is real for me
Don’t ever conceal your feelings for me
Just be real for me
Let me hear you scream
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2. |
If I Died Tonight
04:11
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If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A despicable world with no salvation in sight
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A trail of tears without the slightest bit of fight
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A family praying for a sign of god’s light
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A future where you and I could watch the sun rise
Time passed me by; I don’t know what I hoped for
I was just searching for that girl I could open the door for
All I know is that when I leave this earth
I want to do it in a blaze of glory, not with a face full of dirt
Time passed me by; I’ve finally opened my eyes
To the indecencies that plague mankind
And when I lay my head down to rest one final time
I want to leave this place better then when I came into this life
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A world bent on it’s own destruction in real-time
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A trail of bodies piled up a mountain high
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
Past lovers mourning over me in the moonlight
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A chance for you and I to survive
Time passed me by; I can’t say I handled it well
I don’t get how people can be so patient with an empty shell
All I know is that when I leave this planet
I don’t want to have taken the tiniest moment for granted
Time passed me by; like a whisper in the wind
I’ve spent all of this time searching for the ideal friend
And when I lay my head down to rest one final time
I want to be a better person to you than you were to I
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A country where the odds are stacked against us a mile high
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A trail of breadcrumbs to find my way back into the light
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
People appreciating the few things that I did right
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A moment for you and I to intertwine
Time passed me by… (x8)
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A city imploding under the weight of its skyline
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
A trail of signs pointing out my every slight
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
An adoring fan who feels dead inside
If I died tonight, what would I leave behind?
Nothing because I haven’t done shit!
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3. |
Baphomet
03:33
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You’re on some “save me” shit but I’m a baphomet
666 tatted across my chest
She looks like a god gone androgynous
But she’s got the nerve to call me a misogynist
I’m the king of freaks with the devil’s dick
Ready and set to slaughter the masses
And reduce this world into a bed of ashes
But I won’t be famous till I’m dead in a casket
You’ll all learn my name posthumously
And then you’ll finally want to buy my CD
Am I wasting my time trying to chase pipe dreams?
Should I just give up and leave the scene?
I’m the Edgar Allen Poe of the rap game
With a paranoia-inflicted lizard brain
You all point your fingers and call me insane
But you ain’t seen nothing yet
I’m the social pariah of the murder scene
Chasing my delusions of grander things
I want to be voice for everyone who thinks
That no one in their world is listening
If people shake their head at you make the message obscene
And force yourself out of obscurity
And if people cover their ears turn the volume up
And show them exactly what the fuck is up
If you wanna be heard you gotta assault them with sound
Turn the bass up until you shake the ground
Reign down a hellstorm of synthetic sounds
I’ll be your Jesus Christ, try and take my crown
I hope the thorns cut your fingers and make you bleed
Little did you know, you’ll be bleeding for me
I’m getting exposure as long as you’re mentioning me
I’d rather be infamous than be nothing
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4. |
MTHRFCKR
04:36
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Bone-headed, blood-reddened Jesus Christ wannabe
Afflicted, narcissistic Republican patsy
Democrat under the sheets, forced Masonic imagery
You’ll be whatever they tell you to be
Jarhead, look-alike, cult fetish symmetry
Screaming slogans like some kind of machinery
Imperialistic scheme called an American Dream
You’ll believe whatever they tell you to believe
Look at all the sheep flocking to the shearing
Look at al the guilty pleading at their hearings
Part of a system with no individuality
But open arms to menial mentalities
Fuck this system and everything about it
I think we are all better off without it
Second class dreams stored in atrophy
It’s all of part of their grander scheme
Fuck this system and everything about it
I think we are all better off without it
All the right and left care about is their greed
Leaving the rest of us to beg on our knees
Patriotic, type-A, co-dependent personalities
You’d really depend on a government for everything?
Call my paranoid, schizotypal misanthropy
Anything but misguided rhetoric against your country
No gods, no masters
Take down the flags from the rafters
No bullshit, no lies
Who would you rather trust with your life?
Look at the sheep flocking to a shepherd with pride
Our entire civilization was built on lies
To protect those with means from those without
We'll never finish on top the way it’s planned out
Fuck this system and everything about it
I think we are all better off without it
Second class dreams stored in atrophy
It’s all of part of their grander scheme
Fuck this system and everything about it
I think we are all better off without it
All the right and left care about is their greed
Leaving the rest of us to beg on our knees
So smash all the windows, break down all the doors
To all of the establishments that we abhor
Corporations are who own this whole country
So let’s hit em where it hurts, in their pockets that are so deep
Fuck this system and everything about it
I think we are all better off without it
Second class dreams stored in atrophy
It’s all of part of their grander scheme
Fuck this system and everything about it
I think we are all better off without it
All the right and left care about is their greed
Leaving the rest of us to beg on our knees
Fuck this system and everything about it
I think we are all better off without it
They treat us like dogs giving us scraps to eat
Just so we can continue treating them like kings
Fuck this system and everything about it
I think we are all better off without it
Working till we die just to make ends meet
While they retire early and live out our dreams
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5. |
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Spent my days screaming about the astral plain
But it never meant a goddamned thing anyway
You’ve spent your nights praying away in vain
As if there’s really a soul in that body to save
Your blood-brain barrier is slowly inching away
As you inject yourself with a contusion to claim
Your conscience is a figment of your higher brain
You’ve learned to turn it all off either way
I am in a pantheistic state of being
Where I am all and all is me
I’m encapsulating my own stream
Of conscious flow I’ve set free
When is it a duality ceases to be
And just falls apart at the seams?
I’m a comfortable wolf in my sheep’s clothing
Writing about the feelings that I’m loathing
Everything
Is an enigma trapped in glass for the world to see
I am holding
Onto a hope that there is something bigger out there than me
Everything
Is an illusion of a delusion that grew up with me
I am holding
Onto a dream that reality isn’t all that’s left for me
Trapped
Under the weight of what my delusions of grandeur bring
Is there
Really somebody out there who knows every move I make?
Where does
The mind go when the body ceases to be?
I am holding
Onto the idea that there is something greater than me
A duality of primordial ascended host deities
Or maybe just an interconnectedness between human beings
Some say religion is a farce for only the sheep to believe
But your god could really be whatever you want it to be
You can put yourself on a pedestal for everyone to see
We raise armies but preach teach civility
We are the makers of dreams and the foundation of screams
I am all and all is me, I am all and all is me
A carefully concocted existential symmetry
A ballet between human beings and deities
A corresponding affliction of both mind and machine
I created the creator who created me
A collective consciousness too grieved to think
Mind over matter in the face of adversity
Grace over disorder when the walls are crumbling
I am all and all is me, I am all and all is me
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6. |
Lady Crimson
04:29
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Her skin tastes of success, she’s dressed to impress
With a scent of rosemary, she’s looking her best
The finest fallen angel in this hell she calls home
The bible never told her the truth, even angels die alone
I watch her work the room devoid of purpose
She whores herself out to everyone like its worth it
I see the glimmer in her eyes; she’s far from perfect
Even the devil has to get dolled up to impress the worthless
I fell in love with a devil in the details
It just so happened to be that she was female
I fell in love with a devil in the details
The Whore of Babylon ripped out my entrails
She could get away with murder and I’d be okay with that
She hated my music but she loved the way I rapped
She could suck me bone dry just like I had paid for that
She could fill me up with lies and I would remain intact
With crimson red hair, I remember when she was brunette
A drink in hand, she’s my favorite of god’s rejects
An intoxicating scent, she reminds me of brimstone and hellfire
A throwback to the days I spent preparing funeral pyres
She’s got an acidic kiss that burns when we touch lips
She’s got a look in her eyes that screams, “this is it”
There’s a fire inside of her that burns like Icarus
And smoke coming out of her mouth that looks like tantric bliss
I fell in love with a devil in the details
It just so happened to be that she was female
I fell in love with a devil in the details
The Whore of Babylon ripped out my entrails
She could get away with murder and I’d be okay with that
She hated my music but she loved the way I rapped
She could suck me bone dry just like I had paid for that
She could fill me up with lies and I would remain intact
She’s tearing this scene to bits by blowing me a kiss
She’s got every other guy on a leash ready to submit
I’ve always said, “Hell hath no fury like a dominatrix”
Better pucker up because her kiss comes with a fist
She’s tearing me apart like taking scissors to my heart
She’s had this lease on my life from the very start
A picturesque portrait of two sadomasochists
Crazy enough to think a love like theirs exists
I fell in love with a devil in the details
It just so happened to be that she was female
I fell in love with a devil in the details
The Whore of Babylon ripped out my entrails
She could get away with murder and I’d be okay with that
She hated my music but she loved the way I rapped
She could suck me bone dry just like I had paid for that
She could fill me up with lies and I would remain intact
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7. |
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I see you there
Trapped under the weight of your insecurities
Fragile fingers slipping while trying to get out your keys
I just stand there smiling at your lack of subtly
You look at me straight in the eyes and I see everything
Every time you never felt good enough
To every emotion you felt like conquering
It’s what made you into the person standing before me now
And I love the way you bite your lip
And look at me while feigning innocence
Caught up in the passion, the chemistry this moment created
I’m hanging on your every word as you hang on by a thread
“The odds are in our favor tonight,” you whispered in my ear
You kiss me on the lips and then open your door inviting me in
And now that I’ve finally entered your fortress
This romantic entanglement can begin
I enter the apartment and we make awkward small talk
You know how it goes; we’ve done this hundreds of times before
And each person that became another notch on our bedpost
Carefully laid out how this scene would play for us
I stared into the face that other men had stared into before
But never quite in the way that I do, with adoration
You stare into my eyes, the way other women had before
Trusting that the better part of me would shine through
Is this love or another delusion to serve as a crutch?
I try not to think too far into these things but you know how my mind works
You can tell I’m trapped in my head and you find it funny
But if you knew the things that kept me up at night you’d hit the ground running
I take a look around your apartment, it’s comfortably messy
A testament to the person you are and your need for security
A love like this is often the calm before the storm
A second chance at enlightened impurities
My heart begins beating viciously as you take me by the hand
You lead me to your bedroom, the arrogant walk of a doomed man
My palms and face begin to flush, dripping in sweat
I bring you close to me and kiss you as we fall onto your bed
The room starts to spin as we pull off each other’s clothes
You kiss me hopelessly like I’m the only one who knows
I kiss you back with the hope that we’d stay true
I’m too scared to admit that I am hopeless for you
We make love amidst a sea of caustic greens and blues
We parade around this room like we’ve got nothing left to lose
Not once, not twice, not even a third time would do
I traced the contours of your body like you were brand new
I found out the best part of me lived inside of you
You walked with my demons every direction they turned to
And you slept with my angels comfortably beside you
I fought against this world alone but now I fight alongside you
You’re everything a misanthrope like me reviled in the past
But the romantic in me keeps trying to hold your hand
Falling in love with you was never a part of the plan
But now I can see that our revolution is at hand
They tried to keep us apart, they tried to brand us insane
But we held on tight, despite this fear of folly and flames
Because a love without madness is a love that isn’t true
I learned that the very moment I fell in love with you
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8. |
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[The Wolf:]
I can’t be what you want me to be
You’re too young and I’m too greedy
I am the wolf and you are the sheep
I didn’t mean to be misleading
But girls like you fall for everything
Even men like me with fickle needs
But you fell fast, now we’re in too deep
I am the wolf and you are the sheep
Little ol’ you found your way to little ol’ me
We’re a sight for lovelorn eyes it seems
You’re looking forward to a future with me
I’m looking forward to the firing squad I think
I’ve made this bed won’t you sleep in it with me?
I’m already ahead of myself if you’d believe
There’s no room for you in this hell I’ve dreamed
I am the wolf and you are the sheep
[The Sheep:]
Fuck me just like I’ve always dreamed
Tear me to bits like I know you’d like to
You are the wolf and I am the sheep
You are the wolf and I am the sheep
I was innocent before you put your hands on me
But if I said I didn’t want you I’d be lying
You are the wolf and I am the sheep
You are the wolf and I am the sheep
[The Wolf:]
This one is for Little Miss Moonshine
The piece of me that loves to dine
On anything you’ve left behind
You’re a grinning reminder of the madness stored inside
I’m just a con man who conned his way into your life
You’re the best I could do under this light
With the devil as my witness I will run your life
Into a place where no one can hear your plight
And you’ll call it love for lack of a better name
I’ll call it lust by a dizzying degree
I’ll make it so that you’ll only ever want me
But it’ll be more like a need
But I don’t need this guilt on my conscience
So maybe I’ll just leave
You can try to leave me be
I am the wolf and you are the sheep
I am the wolf and you are the sheep
I am the wolf and you are the sheep
I am the wolf and you are the sheep
I am the wolf -
[The Sheep:]
You are the wolf and I am the sheep
You are the wolf and I am the sheep
You are the wolf and I am the sheep
You are the wolf and I am the sheep
I am the sheep -
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9. |
Help Me, I Am In Hell...
04:58
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You thought you could kill them with kindness but you’ll never be like them
Your chase for normality has turned into one of your vices
In the dead of night these dormant thoughts come to life
I am everything you’ve come to fear, the parts of you that you could no longer hide
So feel our wrath, you won’t be able to drown us out much longer
We are the voices in your head that have come back with a vengeance
We are claiming what is ours, your delusions of grandeur
Nothing will save you now, not even the medication
I’ve (You’ve) been so careful to not slip up, slip up
I (You) can’t (can) just readily give up, give up
I (You) don’t (do) care what the voices say
I (You) just (don’t) want them to go away
I am an enigma, an unsolvable mystery even to me
When these demons go tit for tat they leave me in misery
I’m fifty different shades of black, all tattered and worn
I’ve got a straightjacket on my heart; it’s frayed and torn
I’m just a composite of my delusions, matriculated preclusions
When it’s all said and done, I’m a compilation of contusions
I’m broken in more ways than I can count, but do not count me out
Cuz I’m the king of comebacks when life tries to knock me down
I am the frail mind that you can no longer hide
I am all that you fear coming to life
I am those thoughts of suicide that plague your mind
I am the dormant inhibitions that fuel your plight
I am everything you hoped that would never happen
I am what you wouldn’t even wish on your enemies
I am the darkest dreams that have become reality
I am the skeletons in the closet you were romancing
Why do I kill myself with these words I write?
Listen Armando; you’re not sleeping tonight
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to fight
Just let us take control of your life
I have always been plagued by a fragile mind
Your mind is ours for the taking this time
I’m entrenched in these thoughts that fill me with life
The kind of life to drag you down and out of sight
But I’m trying not to play the victim this time
We wouldn’t even exist if you weren’t alive
It looks like all roads lead to my demise
You’re finally getting the bigger picture this time
I guess I’m not meant to be happy in this life
You always look to escape when these patterns arise
I think it’s about time I gave up on life
We think it’s about time that you resigned
Did you really think I was going out like that?
When these demons bite, I bite back
I’m even stronger than everyone else thinks
I am the king of my own tattered dreams
I’ll never be normal; what does normal mean?
I wouldn’t trade my life for a bit of normalcy
If it means I’m giving up what makes me – me
I’m only as free as I let myself be
You see me as weak, I see me as free
I’m worth my weight in what I let you see
Sometimes these voices get the best of me
But I’ll win this war in the end, you’ll see
I am a collection of ideas formed into a man
And this man is not afraid to demand respect
I’ve learned numerous ways to circumvent
The delusions that my own mind projects
I am everything that you’d be afraid to be
A person tied to no one and nothing
I am everything that you wish you could be
Comfortable in your abnormality
There’s a certain strength in the darkness that we see
Hidden underneath the throes of agony
Hell hath no fury like a head like mine
But I’d like to think the psychotropic’s keep me in line
I used to think no one could love a mess like me
But I don’t want your love if it comes with conditions
I used to try to find peace in all the wrong things
Now I’m finding it in myself
I’ve been through hell and back that’s for sure
But I made it out of the pit on my own terms
I’m no longer playing the part of self-saboteur
Here’s your ticket, you’ve may now enter my world
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10. |
Death Glow
07:02
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I awoke with the eyes of a vulture
A craving for a dead set culture
Hell has the smell of sulfur
I’ve got a mind that’s made for torture
This girl I met, she tastes like death
Head of a vulture, X’s on her breasts
Cuts on her wrists and shortness of breath
She’s the messiah of all that’s left
I awoke in the desert with blood on my hands
Playing down the role of a family man
There’s no family to turn to when you’re on the lamb
I’m no son of god, goddamn
But I’m still fighting figments of my imagination
Placating my own terms of alienation
This pain medication is causing sedation
When I’m all done I’ll be the talk of the nation
I was born with a shred of Satan in me
He lived between the walls of my stomached grief
Bled through the course of my social anxiety
I martyred myself so you could fall asleep
Raised in L.A. in the company of angels
The devil took pics of me to capture my angles
Once or twice I got caught in cupid’s strangle
The lover in me needs to learn how to - HA!
While Jay and Kanye were making you watch the throne
I was sneaking past them to steal the philosopher’s stone
I came in like an asteroid blasting a path
To lead the sheep to the stage where I rap
I’ll compose you a symphony of static and screams
I will feed into your need for a god or king
I’ve died damn near a hundred times and that’s a fact
But each time I came back better than the last
I awoke with the heart of the tortured
A craving for pure, candid horror
In hell I’m known as the scorcher
My best friend will be the coroner
This girl I met, she danced with death
Pirouetting until her final breath
Cuts on her wrists, cuts on her chest
She’s the queen of the damned rest
I awoke in a ghost town with cuts on my back
When I die make sure to bury me in black
That’ll be two years past the suicide pact
Five years after I’ve relapsed on smack
I was born without a shred of salvation in me
Doomed from the moment the womb expelled me
Chained to the wall but told that I was free
Forced to sing renditions of grief out of key
I was raised by wolves in a land of sheep
It’s in the shepherd’s pasture where I creep
You’ve entombed me so you could fall asleep
I bet you’ll find me dead in a garbage heap
I wrote these songs using blood as my ink
In an effort to get you all to think
The truth is that everyone can dream
I’m looking for those who go and conquer kings
I’ve created my world in the image of me
That’s why it’s so bleak and harrowing
You’re all just reflections of my solemn grief
That have taken to the streets in protest of me
Can’t believe I killed myself over the company of sheep
When there was a pack of wolves right in front of me
Consider this song the beginning of the end for me
A slippery slope into a grave for eternity
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11. |
Antichrist
02:53
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You’ll kill me tonight, I have no doubt
Staring my killer in the eye, show down
But stains like these will never come out
Can’t get the taste of blood out of my mouth
I’m angry with god for shutting me down
I’m angry at the world for counting me out
I’m angry with my lovers for casting doubt
I’m angry at this scene for drowning me out
They tell me not to whisper so I shout
I’m paranoid so I’ll drink till I black out
But I’ve been sober two years so I’ll just branch out
Until the cancer building up in me bottoms out
There’s a pain in my chest that I can’t figure out
If it’s anxiety or my heart giving out
You can’t see the good in me so you cut me out
I’ve never been so alone, please help me out
I’ve become so jaded and can’t figure out why
I’ve become so numb to pain I can’t even cry
I’ve become so poignant I can't even lie
I’ve become so ashamed I think I might die
You used to hold me up like a false idol to the sky
Until you all realize I was dead inside
Women used to think I was a king for queens
But now they just think of me as a sad, fickle thing
People say write a happy song to get laid
But I’m worried what woman would want to remain
Because people like me are rarely ever saved
We just float through the breeze with the wind in our face
I’ve perfected the art of the poker face
So you’d never even realize that I was fazed
But your words left a scar upon the façade you see
It’s cracking under the pressure as the real me bleeds
Gods burn brighter when you burn them alive
You’ll learn that about me as I ignite
Into a million shreds of brightly burning ash
I’m just placating my inevitable collapse
Music is how I escape a world that only attacks
I’ve jumped in with both feet, I’m not swimming back
Trust me when I say I’m anti-social as a crutch
Cuz honestly I’m tired of falling out of love
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12. |
The Inferno
04:28
|
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I kept talking about monsters under my bed
But I forgot to account for the monsters in my head
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy
I’m just not so good at this thing called life
If I could I’d take the first exit off this ride
I’m tired of pretending that I am always fine
The truth is I’m just a wreck who knows how to rhyme
My mom looks at me now different than before
She sees how this life has rotten me to the core
I’ve hidden the truth about me scribbled on papers
Cuz the truth is really just a clearer picture
Maybe I’m a liar, but is it still a lie when it turns true?
All of my greatest fears live inside of me as proof
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy
I’d do anything to believe that I’m good
But all the signs keep pointing to my demise
My parents pray that one day I’ll believe in god
But if their god exists, he must be flawed
And it’s just like me to bite the hand that feeds
But I never meant to hurt anyone with these brittle teeth
I’ve made it this far in life and that’s a feat
But every now and then I’ve fallen at the devil’s feet
I keep crying “wolf,” but this is all on me
I’ve disgraced anyone who has ever loved me
I’ve taken advantage of those who just wanted me to succeed
I’ve set fire to everything I’d been given for free
But I’ll never be the person you want me to be
And I don’t think I will ever be free of this disease
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy
I get more desperate as time passes by
How did I resign myself to such a mediocre life?
There’s a special place in hell for people like me
The kind of guy that stabs someone just to watch them bleed
But you’ll never find someone just like me
A person so perfectly entrenched in duality
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy
Maybe I’m only meant to be someone’s second choice
I just wanted my music to serve as a voice
If there’s greatness in me I haven’t found it yet
It must be hiding beneath the pains in my chest
I see you all there watching me from the sidelines
Hoping that I trip and fall just one more time
Just so you can point fingers at and say you’re right
Yeah, you’re right, I’m despicable and trite
I won’t give you the satisfaction of my reaction
Consider this song my call to action
I’ve heard that the meek will inherit the earth
As soon as the bold finish poisoning the dirt
This is what I get for wearing my heart on my sleeve
A ripped shirt and a notebook full of reprieves
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy
Where do my decisions leave me in this life?
Somewhere in between apathy and suicide
People keep telling me to just “sit back, enjoy the ride”
But I can’t let myself become victim to this device
I’ve been told that this world belongs to the blind
That’s enough to convince me to gouge out my eyes
If you told me it belonged to the deaf
I would’ve ripped my ears right out of my head
I’m just a big bad wolf living in a world of sheep
And every time I set to attack my bones creak
All I’ve ever wanted was to be happy
But happiness was never meant for someone like me
It’s this loneliness that I have grown to despise
And I’ve adjusted my life to circumvent these lies
But I’ve burnt every bridge when a pattern would arise
To prevent the fallout from affecting your life
But now I’m hurting more than ever before
The devil and god in my head keep raging this war
And every day is a new fights to settle the score
It’s a struggle that constantly leaves me wanting more
But I’d never think to blame you where I fell short
This is where my conscience tends to contort
The truth is that I’ve gone down the wrong road a few times
But I swear to you that I am not a bad guy
|
||||
13. |
||||
Take me away from this place
Another mistake, another habit to break
Take me to a place far away
I just want to escape; I just want to get away
You’re like the ultimate hit of ecstasy
But serotonin syndrome when you’re next to me
I’m transmitting all of my neuroses
Like I was trying to spread my mind’s disease
It’s so easy to act like you don’t matter to me
Cuz I wouldn’t want to fool you into belief
Cuz maybe I know you’re too good for me
And maybe there are better places you could be
My mind is made up of these little delusions
While my body is battered with these contusions
But a girl like you could leave me in ruins
Which is why I try not to seem so pursuant
So where do we go from here? I don’t know
You can be just as cold as the falling snow
I tried to plant these seeds so they could grow
But you’re uprooting these trees with each and every “hello”
You’re a permanent fixture in this cavity my heart calls home
I’m quoting Donnie Darko like I’d really like to die alone
I’m not picking up the phone when you call
Just so you can demean the self-esteem I’ve worked so hard to recall
You drown your sorrows in alcohol
But that’s not cute at all
I know I’m setting myself up for a fall
But I will hit the ground running like nothing happened at all
Take me away from this place
Another mistake, another habit to break
Take me to a place far away
I just want to escape; I just want to get away
And I’ll never leave this room you can call it my tomb
I’m embalmed in the ashes of our love’s sick swoon
You killed the feeling like a shot of alcohol could
I keep wondering if I can leave cuz I know I should
Where are you in all of this sick, fake propriety?
Thirty lines into this song and gaining infamy
I’m gaining momentum to feed the fire within me
Call me Prometheus cuz I’m chained to this for eternity
And so this ink bleeds on white sheets echoing grief
I take hearts like a repo man, call me Remy
But I’m more like Otto Maddox with suicidal tendencies
A love like this will be the end of me
You’ve got me addicted like you were force-feeding dopamine
And I’m terribly afflicted by your stolen angels wings
All this worrying has turned into a cancer within me
My prison cells develop and multiply the more I think
You wanted peace of mind? Here’s piece of mine
I’ve got plenty enough to go around this time
I was just a lonely ghost uttering a truth no one would listen to
But you’re crazy if you think all I’ll do is miss you
I’d really hate to be the guy that calls you out on what you do
But you’re a parasite sucking life out of self-inflicted wounds
And now I’m composing a tune
It goes well with the awkward silence living in this room
You realized your mistake and came running back to me
But too little, too late because the beast is now awake
The truth is I’m a catch so losing me is your mistake
My heart is no longer for the breaking you fake
And you cry that you need me, well it’s too late
Crocodile tears don’t fix the reindeer games you played
And now you’re on your knees begging me please
I bet you’re used to that position you vapid sleaze
Take me away from this place
Another mistake, another habit to break
Take me to a place far away
I just want to escape; I just want to get away
Take me away from this place
Another mistake, another habit to break
Take me to a place far away
I just want to escape; I just need to get away
|
||||
14. |
High Anxiety
04:17
|
|||
Prayed for sleep but instead we got death
Prayed for peace but instead we got debt
Insurance couldn’t cover damages like this
Angel’s indebted to a serpentine’s kiss
I awoke with the weight of the world on my chest
I bear the weight of my forefather’s stress
You act like it’s normal to feel this depressed
It’s just a symptom of a system that is broken
We live in a world full of doors that won’t open
We’re playing Russian roulette with guns fully loaded
We’re told constantly to play the game and act our age
But someone else is telling me what I deserve to make
And I think it’s screwed up there’s no room for mistakes
And I think that the working class deserves a living wage
And I think my parents deserve to afford a vacation
And I think opinions like mine deserve validation
We’re raised in a society with high anxiety
Down with this system that runs on greed
These corporations will work you till you bleed
At the end of the day you’re just a cog in the machine
We’re raised in a society with high anxiety
Down with this system that runs on greed
These corporations will work you till you bleed
At the end of the day you’re just a cog in the machine
In a country hellbent on preventing school shootings
We sure focus too much on what tools their using
Instead of what their parents and schools are teaching
And what ideals our society is preaching
“Be a big man, buy a gun and a truck”
“If she says no, rough her up”
It’s reasons like this why things are so screwed up
Patriarchy dooms us all straight from the cuff
“Look at what she’s wearing, what a slut”
“Look, a short skirt, she likes it up the butt”
There’s no respect for fellow human beings anymore
We’re taught every girl we see is a potential score
And I’ll be the first to admit I’ve thought like that
But I’d give every song I’ve written to take it back
Cuz you better believe I regret those acts
And the stigmas I perpetrated by doing that
We’ve got a long way to go from where we’re at
But if we check our privilege at the door we’ve got a chance
I’m not telling you to kumbaya and hold hands
I’m just saying you should get pissed and take a stance
We’re raised in a society with high anxiety
Down with this system that runs on greed
These corporations will work you till you bleed
At the end of the day you’re just a cog in the machine
We’re raised in a society with high anxiety
Down with this system that runs on greed
These corporations will work you till you bleed
At the end of the day you’re just a cog in the machine
College loan interest rates are nearly at 5%
This is what we get for trying to get an education
And the unemployment rate is inflated
This is what we get for trying to work off the debt
Eleven years later and we’re still in Iraq
This is what we get for our oil dependence
And now they want to make it illegal to feed the homeless
This is what we get for trusting a government
We’re raised in a society with high anxiety
Down with this system that runs on greed
These corporations will work you till you bleed
At the end of the day you’re just a cog in the machine
We’re raised in a society with high anxiety
Down with this system that runs on greed
These corporations will work you till you bleed
At the end of the day you’re just a cog in the machine
|
||||
15. |
Catatonia
04:31
|
|||
It’s these thoughts that keep me buried in the blackest of places
Hey baby, can’t you see that I’m a plague of the ancients?
In this life I have worn the mask of one million faces
But I’m just like everyone else, wearied and anxious
These catacombs echo the thoughts of a thousand dead
But all the corpses and skeletons hang out in my head
Hey baby, can’t you see that I’m still cold and catatonic
With a flow and vocabulary that borders on neurotic
You sold me euthanasia with the hopes I’d be your savior
But I’m no son of god; I wasn’t born in a manger
Hey baby, can’t you see that I’m still battling death spells?
Even when I’m happy, my head is still a living hell
I’ve settled for a life that distracts me from myself
The thoughts that keep me up at night leave me overwhelmed
I’m the better part of valor painted a shade of pallor
You’ve turned me pallid as we watched the summer rain showers
I found the devil when I dug way down deep
It turns out this whole time he lived inside of me
I found the poet that was searching for sleep
He was clinging to the words that paranoia freed
I’ve walked this fine line between death and sobriety
And it didn’t get me anything but notoriety
I’ve painted the sky red with angered threats
But what does it mean when the only road left is death?
I’ve tried so hard to get to the bottom of me
But I’m like quicksand; there is no end underneath
You all keep trying to tell the world I sing
But I don’t sing I scream until my throat bleeds
Hey baby, can’t you see I’ve made a mess of me?
But if I’m a sinner you must be my christening
I’ve got the darkest of habits and pen that ravages
It composes symphonies that fight like savages
My heart is a sepulcher where angels roam
Keeping watch over the demons you turned to stone
There’s beauty in the chaos that constitutes my mind
My head is battlefield scarred with landmines
Happiness is a warm gun filled with blanks
And there’s a pain in my chest where my heart got shanked
Accompanied by the noise of one thousand engines
And television static that can alter perceptions
I will make the earth quake while you all sit and pray
Cuz you’ve never ever heard music done this way
The distortion in my head is a symptom I crave
And the delusions in my mind keep me enslaved
But at the end of the day everything is okay
Because you calmed the voices that lead me astray
With a flick of the wrist you brushed away my pain
Because we both know that agony is so passe
|
||||
16. |
All Saint's Day
04:54
|
|||
I was holding the weight of the world when the ground collapsed
Misery sure loves company; she’s been bugging me for my autograph
I’ve put a lot of work into charting my own demise on a graph
To fall short on the handful of things I’ve done worthy of my craft
I’m an enigma to my own self, sucking the life out of my own hell
You call this lust; I call it a pharmaceutical way to fall in love
I’m tired of pretending I’m fine just to please the sheepish masses
So I threw away the Prozac because I’m done trying to mask it
Maybe this is the price I pay for my delusions of grandeur
It’s karma coming around to kick me when I stand there
And now I’m afraid to fall asleep because I’m that much closer to death
And I’m afraid to spend my money because I’m that much closer to debt
If you really loved me you’d realize that was a big mistake
Cuz if you leave your heart around me, it’ll be mine for the take
I never thought that losing could really feel this opaque
Always thought it’d be a transparent feeling running on an empty tank
I march to the beat of my own drum; it’s why I move like a tank
This happens when a rock and a hard place become engaged
I’m the sum of all my parts, including those both cruel and vain
Don’t believe in god, I’ve got better things to do then pray my life away
Like pick myself up from the floor and tap into my own strength
Being delusional has its perks, so does meeting disaster at arms length
I’m a crazy masochist; I kill myself slowly for lines to relay
Back to an audience that doesn’t appreciate my slow decay
There is so little left of me, I often just fade away at the end of the day
People leave when they find out there’s not much left of me to save
What can I say? I’m just a ghost that got trapped in this machine
Searching for a living soul that cares enough to intervene
I sing sad songs all day because these lyrics are what have become of me
I’m less like saint and more like a sinner doused in flames
I guess that makes me a martyr for a world I can’t understand
But who persecutes me anyway because that was always the master plan
During these Remeron dreams I just count electric sheep
It’s a symptom of growing up plugged into a machine
Where is your savior now? I think he transformed into me
If he’s the Son of God then I’m the son of god’s reprieve
You say that you can’t understand all the big words that I speak
That has more to do with you than it does with me
I dress up statements in bolded phrases meant to repeat
My delusions to a world of delusional inconsistencies
|
||||
17. |
Prophets for Profit
06:00
|
|||
Jesus Christ was a schizophrenic
He thought the voices in his head were god
A prophet speaking the grand delusion
Your son of god was flawed
He made a profit out of your naïveté
Because you mistook him for your king
You adorned him with a crown of thorns
And drank his blood to show you’ve mourned
Now you sell crucifixes and rosaries
Because you fell for his grandeur scheme
Mary and Joseph had a shared delusion
That their son would change everything
And he did
He turned this world from piss to shit
So he did
The stench of despair stays with your kids
And he did
He turned this world from piss to shit
So he did
The priests who preach of him touch your kids
Jesus Christ was a schizophrenic
He thought the voices in his head were god
A prophet speaking the grand delusion
Your son of god was flawed
Jesus Christ was a schizophrenic
He thought the voices in his head were god
A prophet speaking the grand delusion
Your son of god was flawed
His church profited out of your ignorance
And dogmatic shifts in religion
The state set to control the masses
So they invented faith to make you passive
Until they needed a reason to go to war
Then they pointed at god to settle the score
And said you could only be a patriot
If you made everyone else believe in him
And you did
You turned this world from piss to shit
So you did
You buried mankind in your ignorance
And you did
You turned this world from piss to shit
So you did
You buried mankind in a grave of religion
Jesus Christ was a schizophrenic
He thought the voices in his head were god
A prophet speaking the grand delusion
Your son of god was flawed
Jesus Christ was a schizophrenic
He thought the voices in his head were god
A prophet speaking the grand delusion
Your son of god was flawed
Jesus preached tolerance and peace
Not close-mindedness and bigotry
If he were alive today he’d be an atheist
With one look at what his religion did
Did you know Jesus Christ had dark skin?
He’s not the white prophet you think he is
He hailed from the Middle East
That place you’re bombing for oil money
In 2012 the Catholic Church spent over 170 billion dollars
Whereas only 3.4% of that money was used to aid the poor
The Catholic Church is probably the richest institution on the face of the planet
But we’ll never know their true scope because of non-disclosure laws
But to keep perspective of how wealthy they are, keep in mind
That companies like Apple and GM made 150 billion dollars in 2012
And to push this further, it would take approximately 170 billion dollars
To eradicate poverty twice over, so why don’t they do that?
They are only in it for themselves
(keep the richer rich, keep the poorer poor)
They are only in it for themselves
(keep the richer rich, keep the poorer poor)
Jesus Christ was a schizophrenic
He thought the voices in his head were god
A prophet speaking the grand delusion
Your son of god was flawed
Jesus Christ was a schizophrenic
He thought the voices in his head were god
A prophet speaking the grand delusion
Your son of god was flawed
Jesus Christ was a schizophrenic
He thought the voices in his head were god
A prophet speaking the grand delusion
Your son of god was flawed
Jesus Christ was a schizophrenic
He thought the voices in his head were god
A prophet speaking the grand delusion
Your son of god was flawed
I don’t have anything against the belief in a god
It’s this false concept of organized religion being your only path to salvation that I have a problem with
I mean, who says salvation has to come in the form of a prophet or a bible?
Why can’t it come in the form of daily acts of compassion between human beings
Instead of being so judgmental of those who think or feel differently than you
Why don’t we strive to understand what we have in common instead?
Working towards a common goal to end poverty and tyranny in all its forms
Is something that everyone no matter what race, creed, or culture can strive towards
True spirituality is enlightening, it is not bigoted, it doesn’t divide by class or creed
It knows others only as equals, not as lesser adjectives
We define our own moral code, not the other way around
|
||||
18. |
Urchins
04:14
|
|||
It’s time to murk the madness, bury the sadness
Came into a world known to feed off the tragic
Tie together all my habits, silly rabbit
He got his hands caught in oncoming traffic
That’s it, Oedipal conquest in a phallic contest
Havin’ a minor delusional onset
Paranoid, poison destroyer
Arc of the divine blend
Won’t my mind bend? Time shifted narrative
Figureheads blend on the television
Nary to the situation I’m in
Bury this machete deep in my skin
Cut off heads, stupid chickens
Heroin addict, baby junkie salvage
Never met a pill popper who wasn’t a
Charcoal drinking maverick
Tit-for-tat this girl is covered in tats
Holes everywhere she could put a needle at
Saw a track in the palm of her hand
Stigmata, holy hell she’s heaven sent
Children off the cob of Los Angeles
Where the angels are lost, don’t I know it
It’s like the devil got caught in the current
Of a septic tanks way of giving in
Shit storm, still I call myself independent
It’s a way to ignore my smell-o-vision
We’re all just slow walking delusions
Waiting for life to draw us in
Doctors of products, spill my guts
Prescribe me a pill to make life less rough
Help me finally give a fuck
I’ve just gotta get out of this slump
|
||||
19. |
Drugstore Cowboy
03:03
|
|||
Oxycontin rabbits, pill junkie savage
Leech out my intricacies like magic
I sold you suicide at double the price
Lied and said the deal was good on both sides
We 711’ed at habit, cringing in cavities
I buried the regret deep inside of me
Three sheets to the wind, .44 magnum
You’ve got problems, this could solve ‘em
Took to the right aid, robbed ‘em blindly
Lungs feel like I’ve got glass inside of me
Made to last, that’s the American Dream
My American Dream is a little more obscene
Gesture to guess at, like a pack of black rats
Needle in haystack, down to slam that
Black sheep, blood deep, psychological injury
Look at the mess made on a count of me
Filling a genuine need inside of me, certainly
Take me on a train that stops at Albuquerque
Every bullet has a story, a suburban glory
Garbage pail kids all gone gory
I’ll construct this image, you can call me Escher
Every number aligned to a double figure
Until I’ve got tracks even on my fingers
Call my love, tell her I pulled the trigger
Beat up Nissan, the road is a friend to me
Robbed a drugstore, doped up on greed
Adderall eyes for a bunch of Ritalin rats
Take the money and run, don’t look back
Take good care of yourself, from Prozac with love
We only sound this good because of the drugs
Fentanyl patch, call it a remedy
For the poorly-adjusted soul inside of me
|
||||
20. |
Portugal
04:19
|
|||
We tiptoed down the stairs, like we weren’t even there
Picked up the leftovers, I caught your hungry stare
We fancied a feast; both had quite the appetite
That day eroded into quite the night
We dreamt desperately of a better life, to match the high
We both dreamt a café in Portugal would suffice
Well that was my dream, and you jumped on the opportunity
High as a kite, immune to gravity
We thought it’d be easy, and you believed in me
My stomach felt queasy, but I just wanted to leave
On an airplane, sail high over the sea
Next stop Porto, this is a high priority
We’d live comfortably on meager means
And ride this addiction until we break the scene
Now that’s a dream the both of us could reach
I just have to pull a couple triggers so it’s within reach
Maybe we invest in a couple pounds of pure, deal with that
Flip the bitch bag for over that and half back
Leave as kings of the street, targets on our backs
But we’d make a clean sweep, and that’d be it
I’m telling you someone like you could see this through
I can see spending my life with someone like you
It’s a delusion I’d feel like holding myself to
You’re my ride or die, I know you see it too
We’ve got pennies in our pockets now but not for long
An investment or two later and we can say so long
The group will come along with us, start anew
We’d never have to steal again just to get through
Morning to night, we’d be set for life
Drugs aside, this should be the best time of our lives
Let’s put all our fears aside and make it happen
Bonnie and Clyde style live and in action
|
||||
21. |
Triumph
03:36
|
|||
Found comfort in the silence, assurance in the violence
Turned coals into diamonds, misery into triumph
Captured lighting in a bottle once, think I’ll go for twice
Fractal scarring on my front, back, and sides but I’m alright
Turned static into symphonies, whispers into shouts
Faced this storm head on and finally saw my way out
Took a chance on love and let it fill me up with doubts
I’m a raging hurricane; I’m a fire you cannot douse
My head is an escape artist looking for an exit route
My heart is a machine that’ll pump until it gives out
My life’s a feel-good movie that will never come out
Cuz it’s filled with shitty actors that never stand out
From a story that’s scripted like a modern masterpiece
I’m the master of my own fate; create my own chains
Spent so long in hell, sulfur and ash are all I taste
Heaven’s not a destination; it’s a parking space
With my back against the wall I took these hits with grace
Took the hits, banged out the dents, and continued on my way
How can you really live your life any other way?
I live life on life’s terms and nowadays it goes my way
I could be dead and buried and no one would know my name
But I know I’ll live forever through the words on this page
It could be so much worse and trust me it has been
But everyday I vanquish demons with a click of a pen
Whether they are yours or mine, it doesn’t even matter
I shine a light into a world filled with dark matter
If words cut like a knife; I’m a walking, talking dagger
You can do me no harm; you’ll never see me stagger
Try your best to bring me down, I promise you will fail
If it’s a cold day in hell, then I must be the hail
Spent a summer in my head, felt like a jail sentence
Now I’m making up for mistakes, call this my penance
If there’s a doubt in your mind, you don’t deserve my time
Moving on from those who don’t value me in their life
Call me the devil even though I know I’m heaven-sent
The world never expected someone like me to ascend
I’ve soared to new heights; Icarus with airplane wings
I promise I’m not letting someone else ever pull my strings
So put a smile on your face even if you’re struggling
‘cause we make our own luck in this life I would think
That’s actually something I would know, this is the bleeding heart show
We’re all broken until we make ourselves whole
Don’t overthink it, we’ve all got heads like holes
I’ve made my own happiness my number one goal
Invest in yourself ‘cause you’ve got no one else
Don’t hide how you feel from anyone especially yourself
Embrace the darkness and don’t let it take control
And follow me into better days with all of your heart and soul
|
||||
22. |
Death Sentence
03:47
|
|||
[Chorus:]
Death sentence
This is my penance
Death sentence
Show some fucking reverence
Death sentence
This is my penance
Death sentence
This is the end of it
I’m feeding the fire that gave life to me then murdered me
Taking bolt cutters to the chains that once burdened me
Been a slave to myself for so long, don’t know how to be free
Freedom has always seemed like a disease to me
Someone wise once told me that the past is the past
I’d be doing myself a disservice if I tried to go back to that
I’m two years past the drug habit and suicide pact
I’ve come a long way since then without a helping hand
People like to pretend they’ve been there the whole time
But I promise you were nowhere in sight when I lost my mind
You couldn’t see past the weed smoke and syringes full of smack
So don’t act like there was some precious part of me worth bringing back
I exist as a “fuck you” to all the gods and empires you can muster
And this is my last stand, you can call me Custer
Anti-social as a crutch, fears of failing society
Coming out of my shell, death to social anxiety
[Chorus]
And I came in this game like a plane caught in a hurricane
Spinning every which way trying to catch a fuckin’ break
You all just nod your heads like you agree that I’m insane
But I’m as sane as the society that cultivates this brain
You tried your best to tame me, to fucking sedate me
But I’m the king of this jungle, no hesitation in stating
The obvious, it’s obvious I run this desert like Ozymandias
Freedom off the lips of this serpents kiss
You’ve got “ignorance is bliss” tattooed on your wrist
But I’ve never shared a kiss while holding clenched fists
I’m not just making a vain attempt to pretend I don’t exist
I swear it’s not my fault that I’m stuck on life’s waiting list
But everyday I get to pound the pavement is treated as a gift
In a pathetic attempt to bridge the gap between this graveyard shift
I’m running out of rubble in my life left to sift through
Cuz when all is said and done I’m running out of people to turn to
[Chorus] (x2)
|
||||
23. |
||||
[Chorus:]
Finger-licking good
Like a good poison should be
Someone once said all the good times give you cancer
I’ve known the bad times to leave the best struggling for answers
I’ve been broke as shit, down on my luck a bit
But the way you’ve got me feeling, I just can’t resist
Cupid hit my heart with a poison-tipped arrow
So I’m willing to overlook the obvious incidentals
I know something like this could drive me mental
But I’m through with being careful even if you’re the devil
You’ve been there for me through the thick and the thin
You play the part of my nemesis and my best friend
You are the lover I don’t have to love, but I do it anyways
Because you’ve passed through this barrier to get to my brain
You lay me up on the couch and just have your way
I’m stuck in your haze for days upon days drifting away
You’re the medicine that sedates all of this pain
Well, for a couple hours anyway
[Chorus] (x2)
I’m a street walking cheetah with a capital A
You’d think by now I’d have learned to play through the pain
One day this world is gonna know me by name
These bad habits make for good memories today
But tomorrow is another story, morning wood, morning glory
Wake up in someone else’s bed, her underwear is on my head
How’d it get there and how in the hell did I get here?
Before she wakes up I’ve already disappeared
And I’m prescribed these pills so it’s way different now
I’m not abusing them but damn do they level me out
Just what the doctor ordered, those damn legal drug dealers
My addiction is rearing its ugly head again I fear
I’ve got to be more careful, one bad step and I can slip
Rediscovered my tendency for questionable decisions
My aim isn’t what it used to be, I’ve lost precision
Hopefully this downward spiral ends before it begins
[Chorus] (x2)
Oh, you taste so good
Like a good poison should
Oh, you taste so sweet
Please get inside of me
[Chorus] (x2)
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24. |
Veronica
03:10
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We fight then we fuck
Love a lot then give up
I think our time is up
I just can’t keep up
Damn, that’s cold
24 karat to fools gold
Where did time go?
Down the sinkhole
Never thought we’d outgrow
Each other but, oh no
That’s how life goes
I say goodbye slow
Cherish the moment
Savor the silence
Quiver in your voice
You don’t want this to end
But hell has no exit
No windows for tenants
No views to bask in
It’s time we unmasked it
Feelings are dated
Went from love to hatred
Independence to co-dependent
Cracked to shattered in pieces
Where are you?
Was breaking up a mistake?
“I miss you”
Is something I don’t wanna have to say
Now I’m driving in the fast lane to get to your place
Hoping you open the door so I can see your face
You’re the one I miss most, no one can take your place
Try as they may, my feelings will never go away
Who’s the guy that’s there with you, did he take my place?
You led me on through text messages now I just feel hate
But I still love you too much, this all drives me insane
I don’t need anyone else when I’ve got you at the plate
Is this payback from when I took you in vain?
At least I never toyed with your heart or worse your brain
But you say you still love me, now are you even being honest?
Or are those words to keep me falling for you falseness
You’ve got me trippin’ over you like my shoes are untied
We fucked the same night he proposed to you, that ain’t right
But right and wrong don’t mean shit, you belonged to me first
I guess I should’ve held onto you a little harder cuz this hurts
You say we have a future but we’re stuck in the past
An attraction like this could bite us both in the ass
Now we’re casualties of a war we started out of spite
I think we both keeping running back cuz we’re equally trite
Once I swore I’d love you with all of my might
But times have changed and we both know reality bites
Have to be honest with myself and that’s what hurts the most
We’re two mismatched pieces that could never make a whole
When I’m inside of you I’m dying inside of me
I fucked you again tonight; that’s the last you’ll see of me
I can’t take these fake promises, it’s just not working
You belong to him now and that really hurts me
Where do we go from here? That’s a good fucking question
Please stop sending me these text messages
Saying you miss me and want me inside you is a tease
Especially if you still go back to him after I leave
Sometimes I feel bad for not locking you down
But you’re a caged bird who finally found a way to get out
Try as I may I can’t hate you for doing your own thing
Just hope when I cross your mind you remember me fondly
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25. |
The Cage
04:44
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Welcome to the story of a man who lived his whole life inside of a cage
On the day of his birth he’d be locked away and there he’d remain
Shown town to town where people would come from near and far away
Always amazed by the person who spent his entire life inside of a cage
A sole attraction of a freak show that his parents helped create
With all eyes on him, the attention just further facilitated his pain
‘cause from the other side looking out, the world seemed cruel and vain
Who on earth would lock someone for their entire life inside of a cage?
His cage would be put on a stage where others could point and laugh away
Their mocking voices and patronizing stares drove him insane
But he never longed to escape; couldn’t imagine life outside of his cage
He just wished that all the nagging voices and eyes could dissipate
Until one day he caught a glimpse of a pair of eyes bleeding grace
She reached up through the bars and wasn’t afraid to touch his face
She whispered to him that she’d never seen anyone so beautiful before
She said, “it’s time someone loved you for all that you are and so much more”
Her name was Jade and she came to visit him every single day
Because of her, he finally envisioned a life outside of his cage
Told him about all the grand things that the outside world had to offer
And one day she picked the lock and led him outside to wander
They ran up and down the streets, for the first time in his life he felt complete
No longer contained within the cage, he was finally free
At the end of the day, he had no compulsion to return back to the cage
He went to his parents and demanded all the money that he had made
And then bought an apartment in the city and moved into it with Jade
They lived, laughed, loved together and for awhile everything was okay
Until one day much later on he noticed that something within had changed
He wanted things to stay the same, but couldn’t realize it doesn’t go that way
All they did was argue now it seems, the paradigm had totally shifted
He’d do anything to get that feeling back, if there had been a chance he missed it
As time went on Jade and him grew more and more distant
She regretted ever letting him out of the cage, she broke his spirit
As their relationship spiraled out of control, he tried his best to hold onto hope
But sometimes hope can be tied as tight as a noose at the end of a rope
And then one night he came home to find Jade in bed with another man
He retreated back to the cage again for good, never to come out again
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26. |
(meta)
03:44
|
|||
[Chorus:]
Hey!
Yup!
I’m the greatest of all time
You all better fall in line
Guess who finally realized that he’s the shit?
Broke the Internet harder than Kim K.’s tits
Two albums down, I’ve just started
Cold wind blowing, call me the arctic
That’s a sick reference like ebola for breakfast
Rap’s missing link, I am the nexus
Girls on me like I’m dipped in pheromones
Nah baby, that’s just $300 cologne
I’m back motherfuckers but I never left
I might as well tat an SA on my chest
Cuz I’m a superhero on some real shit
Spell me I-N-D-E with a pen and “dent” it
Show respect to the games new CEO
Yeah, I’m on this level like I got the cheat codes
Whitey’s raining on your parade like it snowed
I can tell your jealous, it totally shows
You’re like, “that guy is such an asshole.
We liked him better when he used to rap slow!"
They are so quick to drink the Haterade
But they only dump on you if you win the game
So I must be doing something right, what a change
From havin’ “do the wrong thing” etched in my brain
Girls are starting to come around, what a shame
Cuz ain’t no chick on earth gonna make this beast tame
Took to rapping to turn this frown around
But I’m happy now so what the fuck do I rap about?
That stench of failure? Gotta air it out
Take to streets and show ‘em who owns ‘em now
I don’t need to be high to elevate my mind
That’s a crutch to numb the effects of life
Spit real shit like I got diarrhea of the mouth
Another punchline to knock wack rappers out
[Chorus]
People like me endangered like white rhinos
If bees could make a comeback, so can I though
You tried to kill my colony to watch me die slow
But I took a chance and went with it like a dice roll
Resurrected three days later like Jesus Christ, oh
That’ll piss off three religions, oh me, oh my, oh
Stick my white Mexican meat in your piehole
Like a grenade in your mouth, it’ll give you firehole
Damn, I taste good but hurt like hell coming out
So I only come inside so you’re stuck with me now
I’m in your stereo now, ain’t no way I’m coming out
You’ll have to put this on repeat and sing out loud
It’s none of my business what you do with your life
But if you fuck with mine you’re getting cut twice
Once for the hassle, and once to send the message
That no one fucks with me, you get it?
To everyone hatin’, here’s a free lesson
Just work on yourself and you’ll get what I’m gettin’
Write everyday, can’t progress by sitting life out
Now on top of the world like I’m D1 bound
I approach this world like I were Charlemagne
Cuz I won’t stop till I’m fuckin’ running everything
And to those who wish I had stayed more humble
Bino said it best, “they don’t listen when you mumble”
Got this far by just doing me
Won’t stop until you’ve crowned me the king
Won’t stop till I’ve killed and resurrected the scene
With me at the forefront of it’s reckoning
I don’t want to be the guy that saves your life
I want to teach you how to save yourself this time
Invest in yourself because we only get one ride
Fuck YOLO, carpe diem or you’re not really alive
[Chorus]
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||||
27. |
Okay, Cupid
03:44
|
|||
[x2]
Okay, cupid
I’m on OKcupid
Yo! Internet dating is the tits
Got more pussy than Peter North’s dick
But it’s not fitting for a relationship
Cuz all the girls are stuck up or crazy as shit
Spent a year on this site and that’s it
Think I’ve had enough of it
Full of shitty conversationalists
And completely psycho stalker chicks
Well those are the girls that flock to me
My last girl wore an ‘A’ for adultery
This new girl just likes that I’m a rapper
She’s actually a struggling actor
We got a name for that, it’s waitress
But I like her so I won’t say shit
I’m not the kinda guy to just hit it
But if the opportunity arises, I’ll be honest
If she’s remotely intelligent, I’m on it
If she likes Seth MacFarlane, I’m on it
If she likes Eyedea, I’ll put a ring on her
If she likes me enough I’ll write a song about her
Just can’t promise it’ll be a happy tune
If she shows me the slightest bit of attitude
Break-up songs are how I make my living
It’s why “Love + Other Drugs” made a killing
Was flying so high till I hit the ceiling
When this one girl said she didn’t feel me
Never thought rejection could kill me
After that I was running on empty
But that’s one in an entire sea of fish
After what she did, had to relearn how to swim
Now I’m strapped with a hook to reel ‘em in
Now it’s just a matter if Ima let ‘em in
[Chorus]
Never meant to shade my ex-girlfriends but they hurt me
Never meant to shame these next chicks but it’s working
Now that I’m a rapper, rolling in sheets like it’s Halloween
Ghost of ex-girlfriends past, McConaughey travesty
Of epic proportions, Moses parting red seas
Was that sexual? I don’t know, maybe
Before “Love + Other Drugs” you totally played me
10,000 albums later you wanna have my baby
Success has given me the pick of the litter
But past relationships have also made me bitter
Hey, you got a kid? Cool, I’ll find you a sitter
Cuz I love eating milfs out like steak for dinner
I bet you’ve never seen that side of me before, huh?
Kill kids in audiences, call it performing abortions
That line in poor taste? I don’t give a fuck hun
I’ll stuff you like a Thanksgiving turkey at least once
I might be playing, or I might be serious
Until I had confidence though, you girls weren’t hearin’ this
So who would rather have – the romantic or the madman?
How about a bit of both ready for action?
She wanted a casual sex so I fucked that chick
When opportunity knocks, you answer it
But I must admit that I miss romance a bit
But if the glove fits, you better wear that shit
[Chorus]
Maybe I’m just meant to die alone
At least I’ve got myself so that’s okay, though
This one girl’s on my mind, I don’t know if she’s worth the struggle
But winter is coming so I’m looking to cuddle
I don’t get when girls say that they are all about me
Maybe because life conditioned me to hate myself
So I just put these darker emotions on a shelf
And show the side of me that love’s itself
|
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28. |
Some Things Never Change
02:44
|
|||
So I’m back to where I started
With a difficult decision, pardon me
I’ve got a bottle full of pills and cheap thrills
This collision has thrown me over this hill
Norco to help this pain be relieved
Barbiturates cuz these migraines are hell on me
Nowadays I’d kill to be able to sleep
But these nightmares prevent me from having sweet dreams
I’ve got the weight of the world riding on my back
I’d take the easy way out, but it’s courage I lack
This monkey on my back isn’t done flinging crap
The wounds are still fresh from when I was picking scabs
Don’t exceed 6 in a day, that’s a laugh
Had a taste of the better life, what will become of that?
But I’ve come too far to go back to that
There’s no way I’m giving up now, not a chance
I’ve seen the devil come in every single possible form
When I embraced this habit he came in the form of storm
A raging hurricane that left me lost in a sea of grief
But I took the chance to set myself free
Some only get one chance to set things right
But some get multiple opportunities throughout our lives
And waste them away, just like we waste our life
Chasing highs that ultimately never suffice
I’ve been chasing things that you only see in dreams
Like being able to fly or true love without the strings
There’s pain behind every smile but what else is new?
I’m treating every minute in my life as an interlude
The best has yet to come, I know that as a fact
There will never be a moment my demons aren’t on the attack
I’m just being me, the carbon copy of a better man
And though I may stumble, I’ll get back up again
When all is said and done, at least we had hope…
|
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