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The E​.​P​.​'s of S​.​A​.​, Vol. 3

by Social Anxiety

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released July 6, 2015



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Social Anxiety Los Angeles, California

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Track Name: Her Last Sleep
Was searching for a new beginning
Cuz the last act had me reeling
Honestly been thinking about quitting
Cuz the punches just keep on hitting
I’ve been watching someone I love waste away
And I know that we all have to die someday
But I’m just wondering why that day has to be today
All the bright colors in my life have faded to gray
I’m wondering what we all are really living for
When trying to stay alive becomes a chore
You’re breathing is shallow, just like mine
But I no longer see the twinkle in your eyes
You fight to stay alive; I know it hurts
For the first time in my life I can’t find the words
To bring peace to you or me, it’s a tragedy
When the voices in my head sound like a symphony

Hold on (Give up)
Don’t let go (Let go)
Keep it together (Come undone)
Stay in control (You’re out of control)

And I’m selfish, there’s no doubt about that
But I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone else
I’ll take it stride, fake a smile, be that guy
Cuz you depend on that version of me to survive
I try to be strong, it’s just hard sometimes
When you have no one to lean on in times of strife
Cuz everyone else leans on you till you say it’s alright
This façade of mine is getting old, brittle, and trite
Tell you to love yourself but can’t even look in the mirror
Maybe it’s cuz recently the image is much more clearer
Been an uphill battle just to get to here
And it’s an even longer road ‘till I’m in the clear
Wanna take away your pain, but I don’t know how
Feel things too deeply, makes me wanna tear my hair out
Kill to feel nothing, just be comfortably numb
That’s why I take these pills; temptations succumbed
Trying to keep it together, but I’m coming undone
This situation is futile; Icarus reaching the sun
The story of my life, the second act of four
I’m halfway there; already have my foot out the door
Don’t have any answers, but got so many questions
If I believed in God I’d think he was teaching me a lesson
On how well I could do when he pulls out the rug
But I know God is dead, that’s why I fucked with these drugs
So maybe it’s my entire fault and this is what I deserve
A wolf in sheep’s clothing trying to lead the herd
Used to think I was special, now that just sounds absurd
Like you, make it up as I go along word for word
If she’s really man’s best friend, then this is a loss
But the day that you’re born every one of your stars are crossed
I’ll carry your memory with me for as long as I’ve got
I just want to say thank you, I love you, so long

Hold on (Give up)
Don’t let go (Let go)
Keep it together (Come undone)
Stay in control (You’re out of control)
Track Name: Barbiturates, Pt. 1
There's a blue devil on one shoulder, a bluebird on the other
One tells me what to do; the other sings me a tune
The blues, her melodies paint me blue
As I enjoy the view from a windowless room
I'm trapped, but it's not what you think
I just wear this apathy like a wedding ring
And I write to distance myself from feelings
Hide in these metaphors cuz the truth cuts too deep
As I sink into this chair these walls begin to bleed
They gush out every hope and fear from tattered memories
And I'm scribbling down saddened thoughts, sick fantasies
Alienating everyone who's ever believed in me
Everything collides always seems to be the motif
A success story is never what it seems
And if every song I write comes off like a eulogy
Am I romanticizing my death or writing my reprieve?

[Chorus] (x2)
Fighting deep with the devil in me
I’m begging you to medicate me
Fighting deep with the devil in me
I’m digging my grave six feet deep

I’m alive, but I swear I’m barely breathing
A swarm of yellow jackets keeps me reeling
And I’m a downer; I guess you are what you eat
An insomniac in a never-ending quest for sleep
But if I make it to tomorrow, they will make me a king
I'm like William S. Burroughs to the junkies and freaks
I'm a big, bad wolf to the right kind of sheep
A paranoid schizophrenic with a skewed set of beliefs
And if every song I write is in a leering key it’s
Cuz no one makes it out alive, that includes me
I’d like to say I’m alright but it’s getting hard to breathe
I’m slipping in between, forgot how many pills deep
Fighting to stay alive is an ironic thing
Cuz everyone else thinks it should come naturally
A couple pills more and I could have been a tragedy
What the hell would my brother think if he found me?

[Chorus] (x2)

It all looks picturesque and bright from the outside
But on the inside I’m feeling decrepit and trite
I understand your pain because it’s also mine
This alienation is a symptom of the bright lights
These feelings aren’t new; they’ve been growing within me
I never asked the be lauded, my outlook is too bleak
I tried to control this habit, instead it controlled me
I’m trying to stay positive but I’m struggling

[Chorus] (x4)
Track Name: Body [feat. Candace Dovie]
Sink into this scene as if from memory
Her hips move with a ballerina’s consistency
Moves through the room like she owns the building
Becoming something more, a physical necessity
Gravitate to her like a planet to a black hole
Confident and cool, always in control
Plays the game just like she’s a pro
As our breathing becomes heavy the feeling plateaus
We’re setting up the stage for a whole new tableau
Two wounded souls that survived the bleeding heart show
At a loss for words but we don’t even need to speak
‘cause conversation emerges from the rhythm of our heartbeats

[Candace Dovie:]
This body is a weapon
This body is a gift
This body knows to nurture
This body knows to give
This body is a weapon
This body is a gift
This body knows to nurture
This body knows to take

With a flick of her wrist she draws me in
With a kiss on the lips I’m entrenched in sin
With a whisper in my ear she cues me in
Her body ends where mine begins
Power in every sense of the word
She stands tall like she’s on top of the world
I’m trapped in her glow, a sea of greens and blues
Her voice takes me to higher altitudes
I’m lost in a mirage of translucent views
A delirium that her presence subdues
With her hand on my chest, the pain subsides
When we’re entwined, everything collides
At the end of the day, I’m every substance imbibed
A chemical romance that fate prescribed
It’s been a long road taken in short strides
But the road is paved with gold at the end of the ride
Track Name: Love Yourself
She’s been looking in the mirror not liking what she sees
Even though I keep telling her she’s beautiful to me
But that’s not enough; she’s got to be beautiful to her
If it doesn’t come from within it just sounds like words
And I’ve been there before so I understand
That real happiness comes from our own two hands
And the walls we tear down by ourselves
Cuz you can’t love someone else until you love yourself
Came running headfirst out of a darker place
And until right now had just been taking up space
I know you’re in pain I can see it your face
The way you try to hold back these tears with grace
So you cut your wrists in private to feel something
Cuz a pain that bleeds beats feeling nothing
And I can’t promise you that things will always be perfect
But I can tell you with assurance that you’re totally worth it

[Chorus] (x2)
Above all:
Love yourself
Love yourself
Love yourself

In middle school I was picked on and pushed around
Made to feel worthless but I know better now
That the one person you should count on is yourself
You’re the only one that can pull yourself outta hell
And once you know that you will feel empowered
Once you love yourself you’ll blossom like a flower
People will still try to put you down but it won’t work
Cuz as long as you love yourself their words can’t hurt
You’re beautiful no matter what your flaws may be
You’re priceless and your existence matters to me
It should matter to you too, you can pull yourself through
It’s just a matter of perspective with attitude
They are always gonna try to pull you down no matter what you do
So just shrug your shoulders at them and keep doing you
I know at times your situation may seem hopeless
But I can tell you with assurance it’s not and I know this

[Chorus] (x4)
(When the going gets tough we ride through the rough
Pick yourself back up, pick yourself back up)

Now I look in the mirror and never think this is it
I can always do better than what I present
I’m worth a whole lot solely because I exist
To help pull other people up out of the depths
Spent my entire life in toxic relationships
Done a lot of drugs and been with a lot of chicks
But you can’t expect love if you don’t have it for yourself
So I’ll sing it to the stars, tell the world to love itself

[Chorus] (x4)
(When the going gets tough we ride through the rough
Pick yourself back up, pick yourself back up)
Track Name: WOLF [Demo]
I can’t unsay it
No way to explain it
Got lost in the madness
Of trying to follow the rabbit
In a land of the sheep
The wolf is king
It’s a fickle thing
Trying to follow your dreams
How far does this go?
I’m so out of control
Pushed everyone away
For promises of better days
And now I’m all alone
With nowhere to call home
Was watching the throne
When they cut me to the bone

You said you wanted a leader
So I took up arms
But when I walked in the room
I set off your alarm
It’s like I’m on fire
Been burning so long
Can no longer feel the flames
Can no longer see those scars
It’s like I’m on every drug
Cuz I feel so numb
Won’t see old age
Might never fall in love
You wanted a king
So I became a god
Always wanted to be normal
But just grew more odd

I buried the hatchet
Yeah, in my own back
Made a living out of
Exposing what I lack
Tried to kill the scene
It turned the gun on me
Now I am nothing
Die in obscurity
You’re looking for love
I’m looking for life
But the door is closed
Already knocked twice
You don’t think I notice
But I see it all
You wanna act righteous?
But it's all so wrong

You see me as a puzzle
That needs to be solved
I see you as a struggle
That I’ll never resolve
Got pills for the pain
You'd be high all day
We're all the same
Just trying to find our way
You saw me as the victim
Till I became the predator
A wolf in sheep's clothing
Is the deadliest threat I've heard
Better men went insane
Just trying to play the game
How can I be any different?
Look inward for blame

This paper chase
Just makes me sick
But alongside love and grace
We all need cash to live
I need outta this city
It's suffocating me
It's a glorified prison
Where all the inmates have keys
Was the runt of the litter
A bad apple in the bunch
Looked harmless to the winners
Until I grew up to stun
I know it's hard to believe
But now I wake up as a dream
So afraid all I'll ever be
Is Social Anxiety
Track Name: Hollywood Nights (Fuck Me, I'm Famous) [feat. Emily Anne]
It’s all a symptom of the bright lights
Where the concrete carved out the landscape
Where the talent terrors in the twilight
We all might die in the limelight
We go where the vine meets the sunset
Where dreams go to die in stride
If we make it they might call us blessed
If we don't, it's the end of the ride
Choke the 15 minutes and don't let go of it
Until it's dead and buried and no one gives a shit
In a world full of losers, every move is for the win
In a world full of sheep, the wolf is the biggest hit
Took the long road to the top and it killed your soles
The one's at the top just cracked the whip
You do what you can to shift the roles
But you're captaining a sinking ship

In a room full of snakes where the cameras flash
They take and they take, you'll never get that back
The dark horse rises out of the ash
Hear the pitter-patter of the hooves on the track
Go for gold despite the threat of being last
The fear of insignificance doesn’t hold us back
You want to be famous? Show some skin
You want to make money? Gotta give in
You want to be on top? Become a trend
You want to be remembered? You’ve gotta transcend
We’ve got enough kings, so they’ll make you a god
Then you’ll be idolized despite all of your wrongs
The lights will shine bright for you wherever you may be
You won’t escape them ‘till they move onto the next thing
Then you’ll fade out into irrelevancy
15 minutes gone, you were the flavor of the week

This jetset life just wasn’t mean for the weak
And some types of nostalgia just weren’t meant to repeat
Captured lighting in a bottle once, how about that?
But where do you go after the light fades to black?
Hustling for something we can’t see but still envision
Chase tears us by the seams ‘till we’re hanging by a thread
But we still never expected the inevitable collision
But the powers that be see to it we’re misled
It’s all illusions; lifestyles you’re force-fed
We’ve got these contusions, from years spent in the trench
I’ve got this delusion that I’m better off dead
The thirst for power is a feeling no man can quench
Hollywood and Highland is my Jerusalem
And I’m a social pariah mistaken for a messiah
Santa Monica Blvd, heaven for the hooligans
And I’m sick of this game, I’m fuckin’ retirin’

She said, “Fuck me, I’m famous!
Why hate when you can get with this?
Your music’s great, it makes me wet
If you fuck me, you’ll be famous”

She said, “Fuck me, I’m famous!
Why hate when you can get with this?
Your music’s great, but you need a break
If you fuck me, you’ll be famous”

She said, “Fuck me, I’m famous!
Why hate when you can get with this?
Your music’s great, it makes me wet
If you fuck me, you’ll be famous”

She said, “Fuck me, I’m famous!
Why hate when you can get with this?
Your music’s great, but you need a break
So if you fuck me, you’ll be famous”
Track Name: Future Dead Self
Deep soul of demise
Caught between your lies
Pressure built from underneath
I’m caught up in this guise
I’m a catacomb inside
Devoid of all life
Pressure bursting from within
Cutting like a knife
The fear of what is right
Gouging out your eyes
Pressure cracking the facade
Won’t make it through the night
Got you in my sights
Could not hide it from the lights
Pressure finally freeing me
Tonight I ignite

Johnny Walker drowns the spite
Drinking downs the high
Met a girl that gave me a fright
Had open caskets for eyes
So I shudder on sight
Remove me from this plight
Opened Pandora’s box
To tempt the devil twice

Kill me with your lies, contempt at your slight
My expiration date is printed on my side
Fill me with your cries, echoed through the night
Don't mind me, I'm just along for the ride
Lacerate me with enigmas until my veins erupt
Drain the blood to fill up ten 16 ounce cups
Hang me high and dry for the vultures to find
Or feed me to the wolves, I swear I don't mind
Whore me out once or twice, or maybe seven times
Drug me with your intentions until I'm not fine
Parade me around the room to make a pretty dime
And then toss me away for the next one in line
Track Name: The Man With No Name
I traversed the beaten path to the outskirts of town
Where the outliers flock to bask in Hollywood’s scowl
Was the runt of the litter, the first to sink and drown
‘till I grew fins and became a shark on the prowl
Threw caution to the wind and it all crashed down
But I rose through the flames like a phoenix just now
Made nice with the man in the mirror with a frown
And realized there’s more to life than being a cash cow

When your friends ask where you've been and you can't even pretend
Cuz the truth is more insane than any lie you can spread
And you’re fighting with your fists and teeth clenched
To prove to your critics you haven’t even peaked yet
When your angels and demons are at war in your head
And you’re trying your best not to let either win
Cuz you’re tired from the rhyme and reason of it
But you don’t have it within you to just quit

Spent my whole life on a journey to the center of the self
Where monsters and men tend to dwell
Got carried out to sea where I survived on my own
The current is where I made my home
Spent my whole life on journey to escape this hell
Until I realized heaven’s just a state of mind they sell
They commodified our angst and were paid in blank checks
Then paid for our noose’s as they hung us by the neck

Waited patiently for a big break that never came
Then rolled up my sleeves and got dirty paving my own way
Dealt a rough hand so I stacked the deck in favor of me
But I’m still more slept on than a mattress today
Waited for an omniscient force to show me the way
Until I realized god is dead and that’s okay
Cuz now I can bury my illusions deep in a grave
And revel in the fact that there’s no one left to save

When your family asks where you’ve been and you can’t even pretend
Cuz the lies are too ingrained and there’s doubt to suspend
And you’re fighting every instinct to run away
To spite the very people that made you who you are today
When karma and grace are fighting for first place
And the walls you built now cause you to suffocate
And you’re tired from having ran for so long in place
But you’re so over constantly trying to isolate

Spent my whole life on a journey to the center of the self
Where monsters and men tend to dwell
Got carried out to sea where I survived on my own
The current is where I made my home
Spent my whole life on journey to escape this hell
Until I realized heaven’s just a state of mind they sell
They commodified our pain and were paid in blank checks
Then paid for our noose’s as they hung us by the neck

I’m trying to fit in like a I’m piece to the wrong puzzle
It was the act of trying to fit in that caused me trouble
So I’m trying to stand out from the rest of the crowd
In a scene riddled with arguing of who is more loud
So I hit the reset button and worked on my sound
Till I could make the earth quake and cracks the ground
All in all I’m trying to pull back the curtain and lift the shroud
To show you what a life unbound is all about
I don’t know about you but I’ve got my demons in check
I’d like to thank my parents for raising a trainwreck
Cuz I’ve overcome the shame of being another artist in chains
And I’m still paving my own way even though I’m switching lanes
But I’m still staring into a sea of blank faces
Wonderin’ if I’ll go up in flames or rise to the occasion
But until I die I’ll write life into dead spaces
And carry this torch to lead our invasion

Spent my whole life on a journey to the center of the self
Where monsters and men tend to dwell
Got carried out to sea where I survived on my own
The current is where I made my home
Spent my whole life on journey to escape this hell
Until I realized heaven’s just a state of mind they sell
They commodified our sound and were paid in blank checks
Then paid for our noose’s as they hung us by the neck
Track Name: I Don't Rap in Hashtags [Demo]
I mastered self-immolation
Got high and fucked the chick adjacent
Bombed radio stations
While riding bass trains to faces
I come second to none
Use my words like a weapon
Fuck these sheep-brained complacents
I’m on some higher brain placement
I’m MENSA-status,
Your brain’s ravaged
My message appeals to the addicts
Cuz I got a long list of bad habits
That turn my nights into magic
Make Catholic parents panic
Bring comfort through static
It’s just me outing my manic
And I’m off again floating in the deep end
Taking directions from the voices in my head
Paid my dues, now I’m over that shit
Done writing cues for someone else’s script
And I’m off my meds and outta my mind again
Just looking to suplex all of these trends
Fuck acceptance, I’ve got enough friends
Some are ride or die, the rest are just in my head

Fuck your Air Jordans
Fuck your Coach purse
Fuck your fancy cars
It's all a fucking farce
Fuck the presidents
Dead or otherwise
Fuck the hood you grew up in
Unless you got out alive
Fuck your ex's, it's in the past
Fuck the distractions and find your path
Fuck the media, the radio too
And the coffee shop anthems you sip to
Fuck television ads for macrobrews
Fuck this government and fuckin’ start a coup
Cuz they give no fucks about the truth
Fuck the board of education
And fuck student loans, too
Fuck the SAT and ACT's
Cuz they don't mean shit in the grander scheme
Fuck minimum wage, fight for a living pay grade
Fuck corporate bailouts, let 'em waste away
Fuck the Kardashians, and Kanye too
Fuck celebrity news and the hold that it has on you
Fuck your drugs, I like mine much better
Fuck your red carpets, I don’t care who wore it better
Fuck social media, it’s not a form of protest
When a company is still making millions off of your interests
Fuck your hashtags, I don’t rap in those
Fuck your opening acts, I open at the close
Fuck your references, dated like ColecoVision
Fuck your misogyny, you just sound fucking ignorant
Fuck your feel-good movies, give me something realistic
I like my art like my women, fucking sadistic
Fuck addiction, learn to handle your shit better
Fuck the quiet, I find peace in stormy weather
Fuck your drama, grow the fuck up already
This ain’t high school, we’re too old to act this unsteady
Fuck the voices in my head cuz now we speak in unison
Fuck what people think just do your own thing, my friends
Fuck being normal, I’m done playing pretend
Fuck me? Well, fuck you too, the end
Track Name: FADERS [prod. by Tha Bastard King]
Turn the faders up, it’s revolution time
You don’t know what to call it but it’s blowing your mind
Might be the end of the world but that’s fine
At least we’ll all die having a real good time
Turn the volume up, it’s time for me to shine
You don’t know what to do but you’re lovin’ the ride
Might be a new beginning and that’s fine
Cuz I’m not going down without a fight this time

The volume knobs a drug for a fiend like me
I keep turning that shit up like it’s BYOB
I see a few people in the crowd eyeing me
Like I entered their psyche like it was B&E
Chicks askin’ if they can ride with me
If you’re the Bonnie to my Clyde hop in a seat
Bastard King’s got the beats to make you tap your feet
Untitled’s on the mic like Usain’s with the speed
I’m making the earth quake and causing tsunamis
They should send FEMA to clean up after me
I tip-toe the line between disaster and tragedy
The equivalent of a hurricane to the rap scene
If you’re not fucking with me you really should be
Going all the way in like I’m uterus deep
Fucking with these trends like a marketing team
And raking in the earnings like a ponzi scheme


The real life 21st century schizoid man
Making every Christian fundamentalist say “goddamn!”
Making every parent in the room shake their heads
Hoping that their kids don’t end up like this
I’m the 99th problem that Jay-Z couldn’t fix
Your worst nightmare cuz I just don’t give a shit
Cuz I used to care a lot and that shit was toxic
Now I don’t trust someone as far as I can throw them
I’ve got a demon in my pants and the devil in my head
My obscenities on trial like I’m James Joyce in it
Is it misogynistic if I grab my dick like this?
Is it offensive of me to rap to you like this?
Is it inappropriate if I’m staring at her tits
Even though she’s the one that's flashing them?
I’ve got a laundry list of people to make up with
But I might just burn the list and say fuck it!

Track Name: The Cure Without Robert Smith [prod. by Tha Bastard King]
I fucked with the best and got fucked like the rest
Till all the club drugs caused damage to my head
Went on a bender just to register effects
But it might have been just an escape attempt
From performing to a crowd of vacant eyes
I’m no longer trying to sell the world suicide
If heaven’s court asks me for an alibi
I’ll tell ‘em I was riding out a psilocybin high

When voices in your head
Tell you you're the best there is
And the alcohol in your stomach
Is making you feel shit
You might crash and burn
All over these kids
Don’t forget what you had to go through
To finally reach this
And the silence in the crowd
Is out of respect this time
Because what you’re doing
Transcends space and time
They’re caught up in the moment
You’re caught up in the act
You give them fire
They give you an atomic blast


Who would I be if I didn’t have this gift?
That’d be like the Cure without Robert Smith
I can’t thank you all enough for the support I get
It makes me hopeful for whatever is next
Saw a problem with the scene and suplexed the trend
I’m wrestling with addiction but not letting it win
Antagonized these demons to the point of no return
But can’t go back on a one-way street, no u-turns
If every old line I wrote was chronicling my end
Consider this song the first chapter of my ascent
If you’d thought I’d stay the same you weren’t listening
Been floating on the winds of change since the beginning
And if everything I do is out of the public’s eye
Then honestly what’s there left of me to despise?
I gave the world matches and they lit me sky high
So every chance I have left is meant to defy


Put your hands up if you’re glad to be alive
The ultimate delusion is that we have enough time
So why even bother trying to fall in line?
You should be living life by your own design
This is for all my heroes that aren’t better off dead
I miss them all so much when I’m lost in my head
But I know Mikey would just tell me to use this
Miss you as a fan and friend
Seen so many come up and meet their end
But you can’t bust through walls unless you keep runnin’
You taught me to look for my voice in dark places
And use it to propel the world to higher spaces
We all know what to say, instead we choose to escape
Before I build my empire I’m changing landscapes
Came into this scene like I should be wearing a cape
And if I’m ever successful, it’s not even fate
It’s the hustle and the bustle that are paving my way
Got dark thoughts in positive spots I’m trying to convey
In an over-saturated scene, I’m darker shades of gray
Forcing you to accept I’m not to be taken lightly
Cuz there’s blood in the water and I’m a shark on the prowl
With a mind sitting in some random venues lost and found
I’ve given all I’ve got to this, be damned if it doesn’t pan out
Cuz I’m the first rainfall after a decade long drought

Track Name: (Inhale) [Demo]
30 mgs up, hedonist
The girls in the back are feelin’ this
Smoke circles form a heathen mist
Carroll couldn’t even dream of this
Down the sinkhole like a faucet drip
Alice on methadone with a cut lip
Just trying occupy the experiment
One day I might be considered brilliant
Knew this one chick from a porno flick
With a habit of fuckin’ with acid
The one that put the absinthe to my lips
And told me to just take a sip
And Ima keep my eyes on the prize, alright
It’s 10 PM, got a girl at my side
No X’s on her wrists so she’s ride or die
We’re putting a dent in the stars tonight
My eyes are lit up like no vacancy signs
But still cool with us staying the night
Ratchets on the dance floor tryin’ to fight
Zig-zag in my hands tryin’ to ignite
And I'm workin' on getting on their level so
A plethora of chemical canvassing devils
Help me cross the border in a new vessel
While the sub in my head drowns out the treble
But I’m running on time catching the red eye
So any combo of concoctions will suffice
When the synergy hits I’ll try to act surprised
And won’t come down ‘till you hear the reprise
Anything to help forget I’m bad at life
Everyday’s a new day, another night to survive
But instead of complaints, I’m gonna compromise
Welcome to a night spent in a my mind

Ashes to ashes, salvia salvaged the static
While I wrote scriptures on napkins
Ayahuasca ceremony supplanted magic
‘til all the neurons fixated the habit
Melted my mind like lysergic acid
There some other words in there I’d imagine
Wash all your sins away with the absinthe
Premonitions in the form of belladonna’s advent
Drifting off to the sound of the synthesis
Murdered the scene and left witnesses
So they could spread word of my wickedness
Carved my name into their niche markets
What I do to music might be genocide
But I’m hoping only the fittest will survive
So we can put all the fat cats in a line
And shoot the stupid motherfuckers one at a time
I’m taking back the night song by song
Until I bear no difference between lyrics and psalms
And had my fill of wine from girls in thongs
And danced all night until the break of dawn
No coming undone, I’m getting better
Living every night like I've got no collectors
Reserved a spot in the realms of pleasure
And stopped giving fucks that you could measure
It starts with a single inhale of life
And can stop just as quickly at the drop of a dime
I’m just trying to see myself through this ride
In the most epic vessel that life supplies
It’s the art of death learning to survive
And living in the moment where experience thrives
It’s the beauty of life that won’t fade with a high
And I’m getting it all ‘cause tonight is mine
Track Name: s.o.m.a. (some other magic affliction) [Demo]
There’s magic
In the air

This is how I’m spending my weekend babe
Sipping a bottle of Cabernet
Groovin’ to the music that sets the stage
For the scene that is about to play
A foolish young lover with a wicked brain
And an ego you cannot hope to contain
In the third week of a manic phase
Till every flower I gave wilted away
Young, dumb love is like novacaine
When it numbs all of the pain
Being with you is like I’m on cocaine
Cuz you excite every single part of my brain
I combed through every cruel neurosis
And realized ignorance is bliss
Found the city of gold in her lips
When a pair of eyes fits the script

It feels so good
Yeah, it feels so good
Make me feel so good
Yeah, you feel so good

Kill to be a fly on your wall
But I’m the back of the club standing tall
Drowning my fears with alcohol
I’m setting myself up for this fall

She’s a cannabis queen but I’m only a jester
Just a young punk who will fail to measure
I’ll fuck it all up just like the others
Should leave her alone, not even bother
She stares at me and points a finger
And walks away, we play follow the leader
Heartbeats echoing through the ether
Temperatures rise as we connect features

When it hit my brain all that glittered turned gold
Her hands around my shoulders I went in slow
Spotlight found us dancing like drones
Pirouetted her way into my soul
Never knew I had it in me to let go
All I had to do was surrendered control
Gave me a sneak peak of the throne
That showed me this heart had a home

And we can keep doing this thing all night
You can come home with me, sleep by my side
Or we can take three of these and fuck all night
Till the sun comes up in the morning time
And no one else will ever understand
Ignore all my O-faced ex-girlfriends
Who keep telling themselves “I’m over him”
But text me sayin’ “you can still hit this”
Fuck a notch on my belt, you’re a wedding band
My greatest delusions weren’t this grand
And even if all roads lead to the end
I’d rather face the beaten path holding your hand
A chemical reaction that ignited a trend
Excuse me, I’ve got some disbelief to suspend
And even if this doesn’t go as planned
I’ll still be glad that it even happened

It feels so good
Yeah, it feels so good
Make me feel so good
Yeah, you feel so good
Track Name: A Wake (Interlude) [Demo]
In win or lose scenarios I’m a deeper shade of “played”
As the ecstasy in this evening keeps me wide awake
Feeling like Leary transcending time and space
With a little A$AP Rocky as the soundtrack to my wake
Every hand I take’s a White Rabbit leading me astray
And every road I take is another path to the grave
While a calming voice in my head tells me I’m okay
I’m on the rougher end of 500 mgs intake
With my head spinning in every single way
And my stomach feeling more defiant than brave
Vapor trails provide a system to escape
Mary Jane’s green eyes sweeping me away
Dilated pupils provide a haunting gaze
Echo through my mind like a parade of snakes
Psychotropic medleys of distorted charades
Voices in my head saying “help’s on the way”

Help’s on the way (x6)
Track Name: (Exhale) [Demo]
Here’s to the nights that were never wasted
Even if all we ever did was get faded
Here’s to the moments that kept us complacent
Spent with the people you considered the greatest
Here’s to the hearts that would not stay vagrant
And all the times we promised we’d be famous
Here’s to running through life with untied laces
And coming out big like a day at the races
Here’s to every flaw I bravely embraced
And turned into a strength to pave the way
Here’s to all the times I should have walked away
But stayed to make sure that you were okay
Here’s to the demons I could not escape
But united like a choir to fill the dead space
Here’s to the people who left without a trace
I’ve learned some just aren’t worth the chase
Here’s to the ex-lovers that laid me to waste
And the one who followed that could carry my weight
Here’s to the easy road I could never take
Cuz I could never do without each beautiful mistake
Here’s to the goodbyes I had to say
Cuz life just had different plans for me
Here’s to every heart I had to break
Cuz something bigger was calling my name
Here’s to every hand I chose not to take
Cuz I was too proud to accept the help you gave
Here’s to every pill I swallowed in vain
In order to feel like I was of sane
Here’s to those who cared to stay
Cuz they knew I’d be a butterfly in the next stage
Here’s to the heroes who’ve gone to the grave
Who were not afraid to light the way

Here’s to every time I was led astray
By a funny little voice in the back of my brain
Here’s to every song that was a saving grace
Bridging the gap between security and fame
Here’s to every time I abandoned my faith
Cuz reason was an easier thing to parlay
Here’s to the people who felt disgraced
By the slightest mention of my name
Here’s to making the most of what life gave
And not taking a second of it in vain
Here’s to what compels me to the stage
Forget when I said being different doesn’t pay
Here’s to every dollar I made rain
In hopes that my art could inspire change
Here’s to every time I ignited a flame
And rose like a phoenix from the ashtray