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Echoverse Records

The Standards & Practices of a Nomadic Heart - EP

by Social Anxiety

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released December 22, 2015

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Social Anxiety Los Angeles, California

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Track Name: A New American Standard
When you hit a wall, they go AWOL
Different shit in the same stall
Can’t keep writing the same songs
Nights are short, but the days are long
And I’m tryin’ my best to keep it together
L.A. born, can’t deal with stormy weather
Honestly torn, could’ve done much better
Cuz I’m a capital A when it comes to letters
Artist in chains, my consciencetethered
Jiminy Cricket, I’m a conscious terror
Invisible like I’m the constant wearer
Resurrecting dead like the ring bearer
Holden, chasing Amy forever
Inhale-exhale ‘till my brain stem’s severed
And I’m no Drake, don’t call me clever
Less “Take Care” and more “Hell’s Winter”

No Burroughs itching for a fix
Social Anxiety's tryna to carve a niche
Didn’t get this far to slow down and quit
I came in this game to get rich
And I don’t mean from the almighty dollar
Mean in world tours and Facebook followers
And fans in the crowd who aren’t afraid to holler
Along to the chorus of “MTHRFCKR”
Makin' a comeback just like Chris Tucker
My ass is going big, better pucker
Rain on your parade, better run for cover
Step aside, I don’t got time for bluffers
Diamond in a baggie, I’m a jewel runner
Pip in my headphones, what a stunner
Soarin’ like an eagle just like my brother
Not another rapper tryin’ to downplay the hunger
Track Name: Blue Dream [feat. Emily Anne]
[Chorus:]
I get so high (x3)
And I don’t know why (I know why)

Got a blue dream in a glass jar
Helps make life a little less hard
Now I need a Bic to find my spark
To shed a little light on my dark
I’m Elliott Smith in my deep parts
Half right into a false start
Driving figure 8’s in a cruel farce
Exactly how this art stays sparse
Color me with hues of dark blue
While the mannequins come to jack you
Won’t fall in love if I don’t have to
That’s life staring out of the rear view
When you choose to let the past haunt you
That’s how a bedroom becomes a tomb
And I promise I won’t be high by noon
But I plan to rise alongside the moon

[Chorus]

When I asked for truth they gave me 80 proof
When life threw a curveball I lost my groove
White flags in the air, I’m calling a truce
Because I’ve got nothing left in me to prove
Said I’m alright so I believe it
Put it to the universe so I achieved it
Spreading good karma, so I received it
Not a saint, but I’m trying, better believe it
The way these fears are coming true
I transcended art to become a recluse
The way I see it I’ve got no excuse
The Frank Lloyd Wright of my own abuse
Keep actin' acute when all I am is obtuse
I'm Kunta Kinte trying to show my roots
All of this time spent tryin’ to serve a purpose
Smoke inhalation got me seein' that I'm worth it

[Chorus]
Track Name: Deep End
[Chorus:]
Said you’re only gonna get your feet wet
Now you’re drowning in the deep end
Sleep in a bed made of your regrets
So you wear a smile and play pretend
Keep waitin’ for reality to seep in
But the loneliness creeps in
So you take a few pills while it sinks in
You’d do anything to not feel like this

Sylvia said “I am, I am, I am”
Followed by a special kind of sentence
The kind of words that leave you breathless
Compliment the drugs that leave you restless
Startin’ to see the madness to my methods
From the deeper parts that I’ve neglected
To the million dollar smile that I perfected
To be able to go this long undetected
If I showed you how I really felt
You’d turn and run like a bat outta hell
Now if you only knew how far I fell
You’d be proud to see I climbed out myself
Skeletons at play, an empty closet now
Know every dead end street in my hometown
If you wanna go nowhere I’ll show you how
While you take a seat, I’ll take a bow

[Chorus]

I’ll take this hit,
Fuck this chick
I’ll make it big,
Get filthy rich
Got big dreams so I hardly sleep
That’s time wasted on fenced sheep
Tried to get to the bottom of me
But I’m quicksand in theory
I’m feeling 50 different shades of real
I’m hard like a diamond but can bend like steel
Moving on a set of reinvented wheels
The distance traveled seems so surreal
Until I’m Jodorowksy in my appeal
Or Salvador Dali with a patient zeal
Maybe Arthur Rimbaud through the ordeal
While the world goes on not seeing the reveal

[Chorus]

Damage in all my deepest parts
Standards and practices of an anxious heart
When all my brainwaves want to contort
I turn dopamine production into a sport
And that’s just me, it’s what I have to do
But you don’t have to follow if that’s not you
I guess it doesn’t matter what you’ve accrued
It’s how you react when the path is skewed


[Chorus] (x2)
Track Name: W A N D E R L U S T [feat. Emily Anne]
I get high before I fall
Have it all or nothing at all
Take these hits when it’s my fault
I’ll be it all or nothing at all

Standards and practices of a nomadic path
Traveled far and wide to find the moldavite to my act
This symptom of static never drew me off this path
My labors of love were just an attempt to react
I was patient and kind, well most of the time
Others said I was dark, that’s just a place I reside
But I found a spark where no one else thought it would hide
But still so anxious to rekindle the fire inside
I was drunk off the delusions that my soul had imbibed
Trapped in labyrinth's that had my psyche confined
When your chained by the wings your perception declines
Until the fire inside is fed and begins to rise
When you’re forced to evolve rather than just resign
And accept in your heart that everything will be fine
The world can crumble everywhere except in your own mind
Kendrick said we’d be alright and I believe him this time

[Chorus:]
I’ll get high before I fall
Have it all or nothing at all
Take these hits when it’s my fault
I’ll be it all or nothing at all
I want it all (x16)

Standards and practices of a nomadic heart
I’m in love with so much I don’t know where to start
From the people that provoke all of my passionate parts
To the Eyedea that festers on the outskirts of my art
I was numb to the touch for as long as I can recall
‘Til one day a song in my head caused me to feel it all
Now I look for the places meant to inspire and enthrall
Only heed the voices aimed to get me over these walls
Wasn’t always this confident, slept in a bed made of doubts
‘till patient hands took these nine inch nails out
Was afraid of love until it’s all I was about
Cuz what scares you to life you cannot do without
Wanted to change the world but had to start with myself
Wanted to help people dispel the darkness in themselves
Wanted to show you silver linings to these black clouds
And remove the hand the world placed over your mouth
In a world of exit signs I look for entrances now
Cuz if you never find your way in you’ll never see your way out
It’s a lesson in romantics when life becomes your passion
An example of habits that break the holds of madness
And just like that my panic gave way to this magic
They say I'm creative, honestly I'm just manic
Always trying to paint views that you could call panoramic
A familiar face masking a new dynamic
If my rhymes are plain, they're F-22's now
Won’t appear on their radars till I’m shooting them down
Play Galaga with the bad vibes and take em all out
‘cause I believe you can rise against all of the doubts
Some rise from flames but don't leave the ashtray
Other pray at night to make it through the next day
I understand the compulsion, in some ways we’re the same
That’s why I can say with assurance it’ll be okay

[Chorus]
Track Name: Güero
All my life been an outsider, outlier
Spent years putting out all the divisive fires
Tactics to distract me from the grander plan
They used divide and conquer to divvy up our land
Then they raped our ancestors and called us Mexicans
Then had the nerve to call our presence foreign
And just ‘cause I don’t look the part doesn’t mean I’m not
My blood was spilled too when Tenochtitlan dropped
But my own people can’t even see past my skin
They can’t see the similar struggle that lies within
Too white for Latinos, too Latino for white people
Where do you go when both sides refuse to see you?
Not welcomed in my culture that was marginalized by others
‘cause I look like the conquistadors of our forefathers
And not welcomed by the culture that kept us down either
‘cause my blood runs deep with the fire of Mexico’s leaders

[Chorus:]
Say you understand the struggle
But you’re not seeing the full image
I’m one of you, one of you
Say you’re fighting for our people
But don’t think I am too?
I’m one of you, one of you
Say I don’t act Latino
Which stereotype don’t I adhere to?
I’m one of you, one of you
Look at me like I’m different
‘cause my pigment doesn’t match yours
But I’m one of you, one of you

And I don’t speak the language, my biggest regret
One abuela never learned English so we don’t connect
But I tried my best to at least see things from her perspective
I hope she tried to do the same for me, oh well I guess
Given myself to a cause filled with people who couldn’t care less
Unless I tattooed Huitzilopochtli across my chest
Always trying to compare who is the better Mexican
Whatever happened to just trying to be a decent human?
We’re not alone in our struggles so we shouldn’t act like this
This division amongst our ranks keeps the conquerors ahead
At the end of the day we’re just trying to keep a roof over our head
Sometimes success is the greatest form of protest
I’m not trying to make a fan, just trying to make amends
Experience lit a fire under all of us I guess
Way more than about color if our paths intersect
But regardless of the borders in place we can all connect
I’m a believer of a different type of “us vs. them”
It’s a war between employees and the ones who sign the checks
It’s a war between the educated and wilfully ignorant
It’s a war between nature’s siblings told they were different
It’s a war between the belief in god and the belief in humans
It’s a war between dollars and the wallet they go in
It’s a war between men and men carried against women
It’s a war between not staying silent and a Facebook rant
You and I are the same, at least I'd like to think
Cuz if you cut me I bleed, stab my back and I fall to my knees
Went from kings to peasants feeding the families of this nation
And the thanks we got was in the form of Repatriation
And I’ll be damned if I forget my grandparents struggle
Grandpa worked in the fields, that’s where I get my hustle
Grandma had a restaurant off First street in East Los
Made her bread and butter slanging tacos to vatos
I pass it five days a week on my way home
Cruising through the streets blasting music off my phone
Thinking about the strength they must’ve had to leave their homes
In the hopes that ours would treat us better when we’re grown
And I’m down for my people, in ways you’ll never know
Cuz if the cops ask where my family’s from I say Mexico
Cuz I’m trying to lift my gente up from these throes
‘till we can all take a seat on our own throne
And just cuz I don't speak the language doesn't mean I'm less than
Cuz neither did our ancestors till the Spaniards landed
A culture just as rich in successes as oppressions
They kept us down for so long we’re finally growing restless
If you don’t think we’ll rise up all I’ll say is “si se puede!”
We’ll go from being know as laborers to presidentes
Gonna take down the borders and set the world a message
Cuz if I’ve got this privilege I’m using it to our benefit

[Chorus]
Track Name: Life is a Beach
Fell in love once and it fucked me up bad
The difference in love and lust is who’s wearing the mask
I’ve been comatose to trust since I was a young lad
Now I hide my emptiness in a half-full flask
And say “fuck you” to the women who never had my back
And “I love you” to the women who give me a chance
Now I sleep with ones I don’t have intentions of calling back
In a vapid attempt to right some wrong from my past
It’s childish shit, don’t you think I know that?
You think I’d keep doing this if it wasn’t all that I had?
You think I’d keep writing these songs if life went as planned?
I’d have less to say if I was good at doing the math
But these ladies leave me stagnant if I do not act
They want dark and brooding, just don’t know how to react
When they see the parts inside me that hide in the back
Gomez looking for Morticia in a crowd of sad sacks

I’m swimming through these waters but they’re empty as shit
Reducing relationships to metaphors of fish
I act like I’m good at life but it’s been a redundant track
Makin’ this shit up as I go along as a matter of fact
You say I’m the problem, that’s one I don’t know how to solve
But time and submission have strengthened my resolve
My mother says I’ll be happier if I find her god
But what kind of god would make her son so flawed?

Some say life’s a bitch if she doesn’t let you hit it
But life’s got goals, she ain’t trying to fuck with children
She’s the opposite of petty when it comes to forgiveness
I’ve blown plenty of chances and she’s still open for business
I’m sinking in silence as she humbles my spirit
Drinking with violence, my blood runs with these spirits
Crippled of guidance, I’ve grown into an anxious cynic
Because I’ve turned how I feel into a goddamn gimmick
Yet I stand here trying to convince the world of different
And prove to her that I’m worthy of commitment
She’s so exhausting, but she’s worth every minute
But I spend most of our time together sounding belligerent
And everything I say comes off ignorant
And my speech is slurred like I’m on ten barbiturates
But you still find a way to make me feel brilliant
And for a moment in time everything is sufficient

I want to be able to love and be able to trust
I want to give you my all and have that be enough
But I’m not the best swimmer so I’m scared of the plunge
Cuz the deep end dive fucked so many of my heroes up
I often look back on all the things I’ve done
Can pinpoint exactly what put me on the road I’m on
Maybe it really is better to have loved and then lost
Because then you realize what your choices cost
Track Name: Twenty-Four
[Chorus:]
Twenty-four years in the rat race
Lizard brain lookin’ for a warm place
If you painted the hues of my mistakes
Reds and blacks would fill up the entire space
Twenty-four years I’ve wasted space
Proving I’m worth the things that I claim
Twenty-four years I’ve forsaken grace
To put the idea of dependence to shame

Filled with things that elevate mind states
Throwin’ hail mary’s cuz the pills are football shaped
And the weed’s always there, there’s no escape
But it’s okay ‘cause I kinda like it that way
Twenty-four years of cycling through strains
Cheers to the times that weren’t too challenging
Cheers to the pills that went down easy
Whether they were distributed by me or family
Thank God for the times he wasn’t there for me
Cuz he was dead in a ditch from getting greedy
Now god is dead and all I’ve got left is me
But if you ask me, I think he’d want me to be free
Free from the tyranny of any former choices
Free from the clutter of a choir of voices
Free from the people who make me pick my poisons
I call it cancer, you say gainful employment

[Chorus]

Ayahuasca’s the reason I know me
Social Anxiety’s the reason you know me
I’m the reason that you can’t control me
Not the chemicals causin’ sensory overloading
I hate these rap phonies who act like they know me
And pretend to not see the guns I’m toting
I hate that people think I’m some one trick pony
Sorry to be less Bojack Horseman than what you were hoping
Give it up to the girls who still repeatedly grope me
While I still keep searching for those hands worth holding
Cuz so far I’ve had a lot of one and only’s
While the pressures of time and loneliness corrode me
Give it up to the friends who’ve repeatedly shown me
Battle scars are things that keep us all going
Cuz so far my collection of cuts is steadily growing
Life sent me down the river like I’m not a slave worth owning
And I’m squandering second chances like it’s no big deal
I keep putting this stuff out hopin’ you’ll see it’s appeal
I keep wearing myself down to make it come out real
‘cause your impact’s measured in how much you make people feel
So I keep giving all I’ve got ‘til I’ve got nothing left
You keep saying I’m nothing, what you’d think you’d get?
You keep calling these shots, forgetting I’m the pilot
You keep asking “what’s wrong?” after saying “keep quiet”
I keep provin’ you wrong cuz that’s my major op
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger more often than not
Not a cause for concern, a lesson in why you shouldn’t stop
I’m 24 and I’ll keep fighting ‘till I reach the top
I’m a collection of faults and successes conveyed
In a way that tells you everything’ll be okay
Excuse me for acting more confident than afraid
I’ve learned life is done better if you go against the grain


[Chorus] (x2)
Track Name: Growing Pains (Alex's Song)
Sometimes I smoke too much and drink too much
I know it’s a crutch that I can’t give up
A better man than me would say enough’s enough
When the gin and tonic’s overflowin’ the cup

I’m not a decent man but I’m getting there
Wasn’t a part of the plan and I’m a little scared
We try to play it off but sometimes life isn’t fair
And the pain in your chest becomes a growing despair
Wanna say I’m alone but I know that I’m not
Truthfully, I’m loved by more people than I thought
When I wanted to give up you gave me a reason to fight
You stood by my side to get me through the hard night’s

Tried to repay you in kind but it was my flaws that shined
But you assured me through it all it would be alright
And deep in my heart I know that you are right
And I’m proud of who you’ve become in this life
When you were little we’d play this game where I’d pretend to die
And every single time you’d freak out and cry
And I know I was a dick for bringing tears to your eyes
But it felt good to matter that much to your life

Wasn’t always good to you but know that I tried
It had more to do with me than you, alright?
Ever since I was young I just felt empty inside
So I tried to fill that void with everything in sight
But those were my growing pains and I took ‘em in stride
But now being your big brother fills me with pride
Don’t know what Ima do without you but gotta try
You’re moving on and it looks like so am I

What comes next for you might scare and excite
But it’s all a part of what makes life worth the ride
People are gonna hurt you and push you aside
But the shame and pain will eventually subside
There’s more to life than people that leave your side
But I’ll always have your back just like you had mine
There’s more to life than what appears on the surface
You might struggle at times but it’ll all be worth it

And while I’ve got the chance I want to give you advice
So you can understand the few things I did right
Don’t listen when they tell you you’re not good enough
You’re defined by your comeback from being dragged through the mud
And don’t ever confuse getting high with love
You’re only gonna meet a few you’ll think the world of
So don’t push ‘em away when the goin’ gets tough
‘cause compassion is the only thing worth being made of

And always spread hope in all that you create
Things may get rough but it’ll work out in a way
Some will leave and everyone will change
Life is less like a movie, more like a revolving stage
And don't you fret when life seems to subtract
Cuz everything it adds will keep you on track
And don’t be afraid of having to take a step back
Just take two steps forward on a different path

Remember how the game I played on you used to end?
With me saying “boo” and you laughing, excited
Then hugging you and saying I’d be around ‘till the end
I can assure you that’s a promise that I’ll have kept
And wherever life takes you I wish you the best
Because you deserve the best and nothing less
Just know wherever you go, you are loved
And not even 3000 miles can separate us