When you hit a wall, they go AWOL Different shit in the same stall Can’t keep writing the same songs Nights are short, but the days are long And I’m tryin’ my best to keep it together L.A. born, can’t deal with stormy weather Honestly torn, could’ve done much better Cuz I’m a capital A when it comes to letters Artist in chains, my consciencetethered Jiminy Cricket, I’m a conscious terror Invisible like I’m the constant wearer Resurrecting dead like the ring bearer Holden, chasing Amy forever Inhale-exhale ‘till my brain stem’s severed And I’m no Drake, don’t call me clever Less “Take Care” and more “Hell’s Winter” No Burroughs itching for a fix Social Anxiety's tryna to carve a niche Didn’t get this far to slow down and quit I came in this game to get rich And I don’t mean from the almighty dollar Mean in world tours and Facebook followers And fans in the crowd who aren’t afraid to holler Along to the chorus of “MTHRFCKR” Makin' a comeback just like Chris Tucker My ass is going big, better pucker Rain on your parade, better run for cover Step aside, I don’t got time for bluffers Diamond in a baggie, I’m a jewel runner Pip in my headphones, what a stunner Soarin’ like an eagle just like my brother Not another rapper tryin’ to downplay the hunger

[Chorus:] I get so high (x3) And I don’t know why (I know why) Got a blue dream in a glass jar Helps make life a little less hard Now I need a Bic to find my spark To shed a little light on my dark I’m Elliott Smith in my deep parts Half right into a false start Driving figure 8’s in a cruel farce Exactly how this art stays sparse Color me with hues of dark blue While the mannequins come to jack you Won’t fall in love if I don’t have to That’s life staring out of the rear view When you choose to let the past haunt you That’s how a bedroom becomes a tomb And I promise I won’t be high by noon But I plan to rise alongside the moon [Chorus] When I asked for truth they gave me 80 proof When life threw a curveball I lost my groove White flags in the air, I’m calling a truce Because I’ve got nothing left in me to prove Said I’m alright so I believe it Put it to the universe so I achieved it Spreading good karma, so I received it Not a saint, but I’m trying, better believe it The way these fears are coming true I transcended art to become a recluse The way I see it I’ve got no excuse The Frank Lloyd Wright of my own abuse Keep actin' acute when all I am is obtuse I'm Kunta Kinte trying to show my roots All of this time spent tryin’ to serve a purpose Smoke inhalation got me seein' that I'm worth it [Chorus]

[Chorus:] Said you’re only gonna get your feet wet Now you’re drowning in the deep end Sleep in a bed made of your regrets So you wear a smile and play pretend Keep waitin’ for reality to seep in But the loneliness creeps in So you take a few pills while it sinks in You’d do anything to not feel like this Sylvia said “I am, I am, I am” Followed by a special kind of sentence The kind of words that leave you breathless Compliment the drugs that leave you restless Startin’ to see the madness to my methods From the deeper parts that I’ve neglected To the million dollar smile that I perfected To be able to go this long undetected If I showed you how I really felt You’d turn and run like a bat outta hell Now if you only knew how far I fell You’d be proud to see I climbed out myself Skeletons at play, an empty closet now Know every dead end street in my hometown If you wanna go nowhere I’ll show you how While you take a seat, I’ll take a bow [Chorus] I’ll take this hit, Fuck this chick I’ll make it big, Get filthy rich Got big dreams so I hardly sleep That’s time wasted on fenced sheep Tried to get to the bottom of me But I’m quicksand in theory I’m feeling 50 different shades of real I’m hard like a diamond but can bend like steel Moving on a set of reinvented wheels The distance traveled seems so surreal Until I’m Jodorowksy in my appeal Or Salvador Dali with a patient zeal Maybe Arthur Rimbaud through the ordeal While the world goes on not seeing the reveal [Chorus] Damage in all my deepest parts Standards and practices of an anxious heart When all my brainwaves want to contort I turn dopamine production into a sport And that’s just me, it’s what I have to do But you don’t have to follow if that’s not you I guess it doesn’t matter what you’ve accrued It’s how you react when the path is skewed [Chorus] (x2)

I get high before I fall Have it all or nothing at all Take these hits when it’s my fault I’ll be it all or nothing at all Standards and practices of a nomadic path Traveled far and wide to find the moldavite to my act This symptom of static never drew me off this path My labors of love were just an attempt to react I was patient and kind, well most of the time Others said I was dark, that’s just a place I reside But I found a spark where no one else thought it would hide But still so anxious to rekindle the fire inside I was drunk off the delusions that my soul had imbibed Trapped in labyrinth's that had my psyche confined When your chained by the wings your perception declines Until the fire inside is fed and begins to rise When you’re forced to evolve rather than just resign And accept in your heart that everything will be fine The world can crumble everywhere except in your own mind Kendrick said we’d be alright and I believe him this time [Chorus:] I’ll get high before I fall Have it all or nothing at all Take these hits when it’s my fault I’ll be it all or nothing at all I want it all (x16) Standards and practices of a nomadic heart I’m in love with so much I don’t know where to start From the people that provoke all of my passionate parts To the Eyedea that festers on the outskirts of my art I was numb to the touch for as long as I can recall ‘Til one day a song in my head caused me to feel it all Now I look for the places meant to inspire and enthrall Only heed the voices aimed to get me over these walls Wasn’t always this confident, slept in a bed made of doubts ‘till patient hands took these nine inch nails out Was afraid of love until it’s all I was about Cuz what scares you to life you cannot do without Wanted to change the world but had to start with myself Wanted to help people dispel the darkness in themselves Wanted to show you silver linings to these black clouds And remove the hand the world placed over your mouth In a world of exit signs I look for entrances now Cuz if you never find your way in you’ll never see your way out It’s a lesson in romantics when life becomes your passion An example of habits that break the holds of madness And just like that my panic gave way to this magic They say I'm creative, honestly I'm just manic Always trying to paint views that you could call panoramic A familiar face masking a new dynamic If my rhymes are plain, they're F-22's now Won’t appear on their radars till I’m shooting them down Play Galaga with the bad vibes and take em all out ‘cause I believe you can rise against all of the doubts Some rise from flames but don't leave the ashtray Other pray at night to make it through the next day I understand the compulsion, in some ways we’re the same That’s why I can say with assurance it’ll be okay [Chorus]

All my life been an outsider, outlier Spent years putting out all the divisive fires Tactics to distract me from the grander plan They used divide and conquer to divvy up our land Then they raped our ancestors and called us Mexicans Then had the nerve to call our presence foreign And just ‘cause I don’t look the part doesn’t mean I’m not My blood was spilled too when Tenochtitlan dropped But my own people can’t even see past my skin They can’t see the similar struggle that lies within Too white for Latinos, too Latino for white people Where do you go when both sides refuse to see you? Not welcomed in my culture that was marginalized by others ‘cause I look like the conquistadors of our forefathers And not welcomed by the culture that kept us down either ‘cause my blood runs deep with the fire of Mexico’s leaders [Chorus:] Say you understand the struggle But you’re not seeing the full image I’m one of you, one of you Say you’re fighting for our people But don’t think I am too? I’m one of you, one of you Say I don’t act Latino Which stereotype don’t I adhere to? I’m one of you, one of you Look at me like I’m different ‘cause my pigment doesn’t match yours But I’m one of you, one of you And I don’t speak the language, my biggest regret One abuela never learned English so we don’t connect But I tried my best to at least see things from her perspective I hope she tried to do the same for me, oh well I guess Given myself to a cause filled with people who couldn’t care less Unless I tattooed Huitzilopochtli across my chest Always trying to compare who is the better Mexican Whatever happened to just trying to be a decent human? We’re not alone in our struggles so we shouldn’t act like this This division amongst our ranks keeps the conquerors ahead At the end of the day we’re just trying to keep a roof over our head Sometimes success is the greatest form of protest I’m not trying to make a fan, just trying to make amends Experience lit a fire under all of us I guess Way more than about color if our paths intersect But regardless of the borders in place we can all connect I’m a believer of a different type of “us vs. them” It’s a war between employees and the ones who sign the checks It’s a war between the educated and wilfully ignorant It’s a war between nature’s siblings told they were different It’s a war between the belief in god and the belief in humans It’s a war between dollars and the wallet they go in It’s a war between men and men carried against women It’s a war between not staying silent and a Facebook rant You and I are the same, at least I'd like to think Cuz if you cut me I bleed, stab my back and I fall to my knees Went from kings to peasants feeding the families of this nation And the thanks we got was in the form of Repatriation And I’ll be damned if I forget my grandparents struggle Grandpa worked in the fields, that’s where I get my hustle Grandma had a restaurant off First street in East Los Made her bread and butter slanging tacos to vatos I pass it five days a week on my way home Cruising through the streets blasting music off my phone Thinking about the strength they must’ve had to leave their homes In the hopes that ours would treat us better when we’re grown And I’m down for my people, in ways you’ll never know Cuz if the cops ask where my family’s from I say Mexico Cuz I’m trying to lift my gente up from these throes ‘till we can all take a seat on our own throne And just cuz I don't speak the language doesn't mean I'm less than Cuz neither did our ancestors till the Spaniards landed A culture just as rich in successes as oppressions They kept us down for so long we’re finally growing restless If you don’t think we’ll rise up all I’ll say is “si se puede!” We’ll go from being know as laborers to presidentes Gonna take down the borders and set the world a message Cuz if I’ve got this privilege I’m using it to our benefit [Chorus]

Fell in love once and it fucked me up bad The difference in love and lust is who’s wearing the mask I’ve been comatose to trust since I was a young lad Now I hide my emptiness in a half-full flask And say “fuck you” to the women who never had my back And “I love you” to the women who give me a chance Now I sleep with ones I don’t have intentions of calling back In a vapid attempt to right some wrong from my past It’s childish shit, don’t you think I know that? You think I’d keep doing this if it wasn’t all that I had? You think I’d keep writing these songs if life went as planned? I’d have less to say if I was good at doing the math But these ladies leave me stagnant if I do not act They want dark and brooding, just don’t know how to react When they see the parts inside me that hide in the back Gomez looking for Morticia in a crowd of sad sacks I’m swimming through these waters but they’re empty as shit Reducing relationships to metaphors of fish I act like I’m good at life but it’s been a redundant track Makin’ this shit up as I go along as a matter of fact You say I’m the problem, that’s one I don’t know how to solve But time and submission have strengthened my resolve My mother says I’ll be happier if I find her god But what kind of god would make her son so flawed? Some say life’s a bitch if she doesn’t let you hit it But life’s got goals, she ain’t trying to fuck with children She’s the opposite of petty when it comes to forgiveness I’ve blown plenty of chances and she’s still open for business I’m sinking in silence as she humbles my spirit Drinking with violence, my blood runs with these spirits Crippled of guidance, I’ve grown into an anxious cynic Because I’ve turned how I feel into a goddamn gimmick Yet I stand here trying to convince the world of different And prove to her that I’m worthy of commitment She’s so exhausting, but she’s worth every minute But I spend most of our time together sounding belligerent And everything I say comes off ignorant And my speech is slurred like I’m on ten barbiturates But you still find a way to make me feel brilliant And for a moment in time everything is sufficient I want to be able to love and be able to trust I want to give you my all and have that be enough But I’m not the best swimmer so I’m scared of the plunge Cuz the deep end dive fucked so many of my heroes up I often look back on all the things I’ve done Can pinpoint exactly what put me on the road I’m on Maybe it really is better to have loved and then lost Because then you realize what your choices cost

[Chorus:] Twenty-four years in the rat race Lizard brain lookin’ for a warm place If you painted the hues of my mistakes Reds and blacks would fill up the entire space Twenty-four years I’ve wasted space Proving I’m worth the things that I claim Twenty-four years I’ve forsaken grace To put the idea of dependence to shame Filled with things that elevate mind states Throwin’ hail mary’s cuz the pills are football shaped And the weed’s always there, there’s no escape But it’s okay ‘cause I kinda like it that way Twenty-four years of cycling through strains Cheers to the times that weren’t too challenging Cheers to the pills that went down easy Whether they were distributed by me or family Thank God for the times he wasn’t there for me Cuz he was dead in a ditch from getting greedy Now god is dead and all I’ve got left is me But if you ask me, I think he’d want me to be free Free from the tyranny of any former choices Free from the clutter of a choir of voices Free from the people who make me pick my poisons I call it cancer, you say gainful employment [Chorus] Ayahuasca’s the reason I know me Social Anxiety’s the reason you know me I’m the reason that you can’t control me Not the chemicals causin’ sensory overloading I hate these rap phonies who act like they know me And pretend to not see the guns I’m toting I hate that people think I’m some one trick pony Sorry to be less Bojack Horseman than what you were hoping Give it up to the girls who still repeatedly grope me While I still keep searching for those hands worth holding Cuz so far I’ve had a lot of one and only’s While the pressures of time and loneliness corrode me Give it up to the friends who’ve repeatedly shown me Battle scars are things that keep us all going Cuz so far my collection of cuts is steadily growing Life sent me down the river like I’m not a slave worth owning And I’m squandering second chances like it’s no big deal I keep putting this stuff out hopin’ you’ll see it’s appeal I keep wearing myself down to make it come out real ‘cause your impact’s measured in how much you make people feel So I keep giving all I’ve got ‘til I’ve got nothing left You keep saying I’m nothing, what you’d think you’d get? You keep calling these shots, forgetting I’m the pilot You keep asking “what’s wrong?” after saying “keep quiet” I keep provin’ you wrong cuz that’s my major op What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger more often than not Not a cause for concern, a lesson in why you shouldn’t stop I’m 24 and I’ll keep fighting ‘till I reach the top I’m a collection of faults and successes conveyed In a way that tells you everything’ll be okay Excuse me for acting more confident than afraid I’ve learned life is done better if you go against the grain [Chorus] (x2)

Sometimes I smoke too much and drink too much I know it’s a crutch that I can’t give up A better man than me would say enough’s enough When the gin and tonic’s overflowin’ the cup I’m not a decent man but I’m getting there Wasn’t a part of the plan and I’m a little scared We try to play it off but sometimes life isn’t fair And the pain in your chest becomes a growing despair Wanna say I’m alone but I know that I’m not Truthfully, I’m loved by more people than I thought When I wanted to give up you gave me a reason to fight You stood by my side to get me through the hard night’s Tried to repay you in kind but it was my flaws that shined But you assured me through it all it would be alright And deep in my heart I know that you are right And I’m proud of who you’ve become in this life When you were little we’d play this game where I’d pretend to die And every single time you’d freak out and cry And I know I was a dick for bringing tears to your eyes But it felt good to matter that much to your life Wasn’t always good to you but know that I tried It had more to do with me than you, alright? Ever since I was young I just felt empty inside So I tried to fill that void with everything in sight But those were my growing pains and I took ‘em in stride But now being your big brother fills me with pride Don’t know what Ima do without you but gotta try You’re moving on and it looks like so am I What comes next for you might scare and excite But it’s all a part of what makes life worth the ride People are gonna hurt you and push you aside But the shame and pain will eventually subside There’s more to life than people that leave your side But I’ll always have your back just like you had mine There’s more to life than what appears on the surface You might struggle at times but it’ll all be worth it And while I’ve got the chance I want to give you advice So you can understand the few things I did right Don’t listen when they tell you you’re not good enough You’re defined by your comeback from being dragged through the mud And don’t ever confuse getting high with love You’re only gonna meet a few you’ll think the world of So don’t push ‘em away when the goin’ gets tough ‘cause compassion is the only thing worth being made of And always spread hope in all that you create Things may get rough but it’ll work out in a way Some will leave and everyone will change Life is less like a movie, more like a revolving stage And don't you fret when life seems to subtract Cuz everything it adds will keep you on track And don’t be afraid of having to take a step back Just take two steps forward on a different path Remember how the game I played on you used to end? With me saying “boo” and you laughing, excited Then hugging you and saying I’d be around ‘till the end I can assure you that’s a promise that I’ll have kept And wherever life takes you I wish you the best Because you deserve the best and nothing less Just know wherever you go, you are loved And not even 3000 miles can separate us