Fell in love once and it fucked me up bad
The difference in love and lust is who’s wearing the mask
I’ve been comatose to trust since I was a young lad
Now I hide my emptiness in a half-full flask
And say “fuck you” to the women who never had my back
And “I love you” to the women who give me a chance
Now I sleep with ones I don’t have intentions of calling back
In a vapid attempt to right some wrong from my past
It’s childish shit, don’t you think I know that?
You think I’d keep doing this if it wasn’t all that I had?
You think I’d keep writing these songs if life went as planned?
I’d have less to say if I was good at doing the math
But these ladies leave me stagnant if I do not act
They want dark and brooding, just don’t know how to react
When they see the parts inside me that hide in the back
Gomez looking for Morticia in a crowd of sad sacks
I’m swimming through these waters but they’re empty as shit
Reducing relationships to metaphors of fish
I act like I’m good at life but it’s been a redundant track
Makin’ this shit up as I go along as a matter of fact
You say I’m the problem, that’s one I don’t know how to solve
But time and submission have strengthened my resolve
My mother says I’ll be happier if I find her god
But what kind of god would make her son so flawed?
Some say life’s a bitch if she doesn’t let you hit it
But life’s got goals, she ain’t trying to fuck with children
She’s the opposite of petty when it comes to forgiveness
I’ve blown plenty of chances and she’s still open for business
I’m sinking in silence as she humbles my spirit
Drinking with violence, my blood runs with these spirits
Crippled of guidance, I’ve grown into an anxious cynic
Because I’ve turned how I feel into a goddamn gimmick
Yet I stand here trying to convince the world of different
And prove to her that I’m worthy of commitment
She’s so exhausting, but she’s worth every minute
But I spend most of our time together sounding belligerent
And everything I say comes off ignorant
And my speech is slurred like I’m on ten barbiturates
But you still find a way to make me feel brilliant
And for a moment in time everything is sufficient
I want to be able to love and be able to trust
I want to give you my all and have that be enough
But I’m not the best swimmer so I’m scared of the plunge
Cuz the deep end dive fucked so many of my heroes up
I often look back on all the things I’ve done
Can pinpoint exactly what put me on the road I’m on
Maybe it really is better to have loved and then lost
Because then you realize what your choices cost
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