When you hit a wall, they go AWOL Different shit in the same stall Can’t keep writing the same songs Nights are short, but the days are long And I’m tryin’ my best to keep it together L.A. born, can’t deal with stormy weather Honestly torn, could’ve done much better Cuz I’m a capital A when it comes to letters Artist in chains, consciously tethered Jiminy Cricket, I’m a conscience terror Invisible like I’m the constant wearer Resurrecting dead like the ring bearer Holden, chasing Amy forever Inhale-exhale ‘till my brain stem’s severed And I’m no Drake, don’t call me clever Less “Take Care” and more “Hell’s Winter” No more Burroughs itching for a fix Social Anxiety's tryna to carve a niche Didn’t get this far to slow down and quit I came in this game to get rich And I don’t mean from the almighty dollar Mean in world tours and Facebook followers And fans in the crowd who aren’t afraid to holler Along to the chorus of “MTHRFCKR” Makin' a comeback just like Chris Tucker My ass is going big, better pucker Rain on your parade, better run for cover Step aside, I don’t got time for bluffers Diamond in a baggie, I’m a jewel runner Pip in my headphones, what a stunner Soarin’ like an eagle just like my brother Not another rapper tryin’ to downplay the hunger

[Chorus:] I get so high (x3) And I don’t know why (I know why) Got a blue dream in a glass jar Helps make life a little less hard Now I need a Bic to find my spark To shed a little light on my dark I’m Elliott Smith in my deep parts Half right into a false start Driving figure 8’s in a cruel farce Exactly how this art stays sparse Color me with hues of dark blue While the mannequins come to jack you Won’t fall in love if I don’t have to That’s life staring out of the rear view When you choose to let the past haunt you That’s how a bedroom becomes a tomb And I promise I won’t be high by noon But I plan to rise alongside the moon [Chorus] When I asked for truth they gave me 80 proof When life threw a curveball I lost my groove White flags in the air, I’m calling a truce Because I’ve got nothing left in me to prove Said I’m alright so I believed it Put it to the universe so I achieved it Spreading good karma, so Ima receive it Not a saint, but I’m trying, better believe it The way these fears are coming true I transcended art to become a recluse The way I see it I’ve got no excuse I’m the Frank Lloyd Wright of my own abuse Keep actin' acute when all I am is obtuse Kunta Kinte just trying to show my roots All of this time spent tryin’ to serve a purpose Smoke inhalation got me seein' that I'm worth it [Chorus]

[Chorus:] Said you’re only gonna get your feet wet Now you’re drowning in the deep end Sleep in a bed made of your regrets So you wear a smile and play pretend Keep waitin’ for reality to seep in But the loneliness creeps in So you take a few pills while it sinks in You’d do anything to not feel like this Sylvia said “I am, I am, I am” Followed by a special kind of sentence The kind of words that leave you breathless Complement the drugs that leave you restless Startin’ to see the madness to my methods From the deeper parts that I’ve neglected To the million dollar smile that I perfected To be able to go this long undetected If I showed you how I really felt You’d turn and run like a bat outta hell Now if you only knew how far I fell You’d be proud to see I climbed out myself Skeletons at play, an empty closet now Know every dead end street in my hometown If you wanna go nowhere I’ll show you how While you take a seat, I’ll take a bow [Chorus] I’ll take this hit, Fuck this chick I’ll make it big, Get filthy rich Got big dreams so I hardly sleep That’s time wasted on fenced sheep Tried to get to the bottom of me But I’m quicksand in theory I’m feeling 50 different shades of real I’m hard like a diamond but can bend like steel Moving on a set of reinvented wheels The distance traveled seems so surreal Until I’m Jodorowksy in my appeal Or Salvador Dali with a patient zeal Maybe Arthur Rimbaud through the ordeal While the world goes on not seeing the reveal [Chorus] Damage in all my deepest parts Standards and practices of an anxious heart When all my brainwaves want to contort I turn dopamine production into a sport And that’s just me, it’s what I have to do But you don’t have to follow if that’s not you I guess it doesn’t matter what you’ve accrued It’s how you react when the paths are skewed [Chorus] (x2)

I get high before I fall Have it all or nothing at all Take these hits when it’s my fault I’ll be it all or nothing at all Standards and practices of a nomadic path Traveled far and wide to find the moldavite to my act This symptom of static never drew me off this path My labors of love were just an attempt to react I was patient and kind, well most of the time Others said I was dark, that’s just a place I reside But I found a spark where no one else thought it would hide But still so anxious to rekindle the fire inside I was drunk off the delusions that my soul had imbibed Trapped in labyrinth's that had my psyche confined When your chained by the wings your perception declines Until the fire inside is fed and begins to rise When you’re forced to evolve rather than just resign And accept in your heart that everything will be fine The world can crumble everywhere except in your own mind Kendrick said we’d be alright and I believe him this time [Chorus:] I’ll get high before I fall Have it all or nothing at all Take these hits when it’s my fault I’ll be it all or nothing at all I want it all (x16) Standards and practices of a nomadic heart I’m in love with so much I don’t know where to start From the people that provoke all of my passionate parts To the Eyedea that festers on the outskirts of my art I was numb to the touch for as long as I can recall ‘Til one day a song in my head caused me to feel it all Now I look for the places meant to inspire and enthrall Only heed the voices aimed to get me over these walls Wasn’t always this confident, slept in a bed made of doubts ‘till patient hands took these nine inch nails out Was afraid of love until it’s all I was about Cuz what scares you to life you cannot do without Wanted to change the world but had to start with myself Wanted to help people dispel the darkness in themselves Wanted to show you silver linings to these black clouds And remove the hand the world placed over your mouth In a world of exit signs I look for entrances now Cuz if you never find your way in you’ll never see your way out It’s a lesson in romantics when life becomes your passion An example of habits that break the holds of madness And just like that my panic gave way to this magic They say I'm creative, honestly I'm just manic Always trying to paint views that you could call panoramic A familiar face masking a new dynamic If my rhymes are plain, they're F-22's now Won’t appear on their radars till I’m shooting them down Play Galaga with the bad vibes and take em all out ‘cause I believe you can rise against all of the doubts Some rise from flames but don't leave the ashtray Other pray at night to make it through the next day I understand the compulsion, in some ways we’re the same That’s why I can say with assurance it’ll be okay [Chorus]

All my life been an outsider, outlier Spent years putting out all the divisive fires Tactics to distract me from the grander plan They used divide and conquer to divvy up our land Then they raped our ancestors and called us Mexicans Then had the nerve to call our presence foreign And just ‘cause I don’t look the part doesn’t mean I’m not My blood was spilled too when Tenochtitlan dropped But my own people can’t even see past my skin Don’t wanna see the similar struggle that lies within Too white for Latinos, too Latino for white people Where do you go when both sides refuse to see you? Not welcomed in my culture that was marginalized by others ‘cause I look like the conquistadors of our forefathers And not welcomed by the culture that kept us down either ‘cause my blood runs deep with the fire of Mexico’s leaders [Chorus:] Say you understand the struggle But you’re not seeing the full image I’m one of you, one of you Say you’re fighting for our people But don’t think I am too? I’m one of you, one of you Say I don’t act Latino Which stereotype don’t I adhere to? I’m one of you, one of you Look at me like I’m different ‘cause my pigment doesn’t match yours But I’m one of you, one of you And I don’t speak the language, my biggest regret One abuela never learned English so we don’t connect But I tried my best to at least see things from her perspective I hope she tried to do the same for me, oh well I guess Given myself to a cause filled with people who couldn’t care less Unless I tattooed Huitzilopochtli across my chest Always trying to compare who is the better Mexican Whatever happened to just trying to be a decent human? We’re not alone in our struggles so we shouldn’t act like this This division amongst our ranks keeps the conquerors ahead At the end of the day we’re just trying to keep a roof over our head Sometimes success is the greatest form of protest I’m not trying to make a fan, just trying to make amends Experience lit a fire under all of us I guess Way more than about color if our paths intersect But regardless of the borders in place we can all connect I’m a believer of a different type of “us vs. them” It’s a war between employees and the ones who sign the checks It’s a war between the educated and wilfully ignorant It’s a war between nature’s siblings told they were different It’s a war between the belief in god and the belief in humans It’s a war between dollars and the wallet they go in It’s a war between men and men carried against women It’s a war between not staying silent and a Facebook rant You and I are the same, at least I'd like to think Cuz if you cut me I bleed, stab my back and I fall to my knees Went from kings to peasants feeding the families of this nation And the thanks we got was in the form of Repatriation And I’ll be damned if I forget my grandparents struggle Grandpa worked in the fields, that’s where I get my hustle Grandma had a restaurant off First street in East Los Made her bread and butter slanging tacos to vatos I pass it five days a week on my way home Cruising through the streets blasting music off my phone Thinking about the strength they must’ve had to leave their homes In the hopes that ours would treat us better when we’re grown And I’m down for my people, in ways you’ll never know Cuz if the cops ask where my family’s from I say Mexico Cuz I’m trying to lift my gente up from these throes ‘till we can all take a seat on our own throne And just cuz I don't speak the language doesn't mean I'm less than Cuz neither did our ancestors till the Spaniards landed A culture just as rich in successes as oppressions They kept us down for so long we’re finally growing restless If you don’t think we’ll rise up all I’ll say is “si se puede!” We’ll go from being know as laborers to presidentes Gonna take down the borders and set the world a message Cuz if I’ve got this privilege I’m using it to our benefit [Chorus]

Fell in love once and it fucked me up bad The difference in love and lust is who’s wearing the mask I’ve been comatose to trust since I was a young lad Now I hide my emptiness in a half-full flask And say “fuck you” to the women who never had my back And “I love you” to the women who give me a chance Now I sleep with ones I don’t have intentions of calling back In a vapid attempt to right some wrong from my past It’s childish shit, don’t you think I know that? You think I’d keep doing this if it wasn’t all that I had? You think I’d keep writing these songs if life went as planned? I’d have less to say if I was good at doing the math But these ladies leave me stagnant if I do not act They want dark and brooding, just don’t know how to react When they see the parts inside me that hide in the back Gomez looking for Morticia in a crowd of sad sacks I’m swimming through these waters but they’re empty as shit Reducing relationships to metaphors of fish I act like I’m good at life but it’s been a redundant track Makin’ this shit up as I go along as a matter of fact You say I’m the problem, that’s one I don’t know how to solve But time and submission have strengthened my resolve My mother says I’ll be happier if I find her god But what kind of god would make her son so flawed? Some say life’s a bitch if she doesn’t let you hit it But life’s got goals, she ain’t trying to fuck with children She’s the opposite of petty when it comes to forgiveness I’ve blown plenty of chances and she’s still open for business I’m sinking in silence as she humbles my spirit Drinking with violence, my blood runs with these spirits Crippled of guidance, I’ve grown into an anxious cynic Because I’ve turned how I feel into a goddamn gimmick Yet I stand here trying to convince the world of different And prove to her that I’m worthy of commitment She’s so exhausting, but she’s worth every minute But I spend most of our time together sounding belligerent And everything I say comes off ignorant And my speech is slurred like I’m on ten barbiturates But you still find a way to make me feel brilliant And for a moment in time everything is sufficient I want to be able to love and be able to trust I want to give you my all and have that be enough But I’m not the best swimmer so I’m scared of the plunge Cuz the deep end dive fucked so many of my heroes up I often look back on all the things I’ve done Can pinpoint exactly what put me on the road I’m on Maybe it really is better to have loved and then lost Because then you realize what your choices cost

[Chorus:] Twenty-four years in the rat race Lizard brain lookin’ for a warm place If you painted the hues of my mistakes Reds and blacks would fill up the entire space Twenty-four years I’ve wasted space Proving I’m worth the things that I claim Twenty-four years I’ve forsaken grace To put the idea of dependence to shame Filled with things that elevate mind states Throwin’ hail mary’s cuz the pills are football shaped And the weed’s always there, there’s no escape But it’s okay ‘cause I kinda like it that way Twenty-four years of cycling through strains Cheers to the times that weren’t too challenging Cheers to the pills that went down easy Whether they were distributed by me or family Thank God for the times he wasn’t there for me Cuz he was dead in a ditch from getting greedy Now god is dead and all I’ve got left is me But if you ask me, I think he’d want me to be free Free from the tyranny of any former choices Free from the clutter of a choir of voices Free from the people who make me pick my poisons I call it cancer, you say gainful employment [Chorus] Ayahuasca’s the reason I know me Social Anxiety’s the reason you know me I’m the reason that you can’t control me Not the chemicals causin’ sensory overloading I hate these rap phonies who act like they know me And pretend to not see the guns I’m toting I hate that people think I’m some one trick pony Sorry to be less Bojack Horseman than what you were hoping Give up to the girls who still repeatedly grope me While I still keep searching for those hands worth holding Cuz so far I’ve had a lot of one and only’s While the pressures of time and loneliness corrode me Give it up to the friends who’ve repeatedly shown me Battle scars are things that keep us all going Cuz so far my collection of cuts is steadily growing Life sent me down the river like I’m not a slave worth owning And I’m squandering second chances like it’s no big deal I keep putting this stuff out hopin’ you’ll see it’s appeal I keep wearing myself down to make it come out real ‘cause your impact’s measured in how much you make people feel So I keep giving all I’ve got ‘til I’ve got nothing left You keep saying I’m nothing, what you’d think you’d get? You keep calling these shots, forgetting I’m the pilot You keep asking “what’s wrong?” after saying “keep quiet” I keep provin’ you wrong cuz that’s my major op What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger more often than not Not a cause for concern, a lesson in why you shouldn’t stop I’m 24 and I’ll keep fighting ‘till I reach the top I’m a collection of faults and successes conveyed In a way that tells you everything’ll be okay Excuse me for acting more confident than afraid I’ve learned life is done better if you go against the grain [Chorus] (x2)

Sometimes I smoke too much and drink too much I know it’s a crutch that I can’t give up A better man than me would say enough’s enough When the gin and tonic’s overflowin’ the cup I’m not a decent man but I’m getting there Wasn’t a part of the plan and I’m a little scared We try to play it off but sometimes life isn’t fair And the pain in your chest becomes a growing despair Wanna say I’m alone but I know that I’m not Truthfully, I’m loved by more people than I thought When I wanted to give up you gave me a reason to fight You stood by my side to get me through the hard night’s Tried to repay you in kind but it was my flaws that shined But you assured me through it all it would be alright And deep in my heart I know that you are right And I’m proud of who you’ve become in this life When you were little we’d play this game where I’d pretend to die And every single time you’d freak out and cry And I know I was a dick for bringing tears to your eyes But it felt good to matter that much to your life Wasn’t always good to you but know that I tried It had more to do with me than you, alright? Ever since I was young I just felt empty inside So I tried to fill that void with everything in sight But those were my growing pains and I took ‘em in stride But now being your big brother fills me with pride Don’t know what Ima do without you but gotta try You’re moving on and it looks like so am I What comes next for you might scare and excite But it’s all a part of what makes life worth the ride People are gonna hurt you and push you aside But the shame and pain will eventually subside There’s more to life than people that leave your side But I’ll always have your back just like you had mine There’s more to life than what appears on the surface You might struggle at times but it’ll all be worth it And while I’ve got the chance I want to give you advice So you can understand the few things I did right Don’t listen when they tell you you’re not good enough You’re defined by your comeback from being dragged through the mud And don’t ever confuse getting high with love You’re only gonna meet a few you’ll think the world of So don’t push ‘em away when the goin’ gets tough ‘cause compassion is the only thing worth being made of And always spread hope in all that you create Things may get rough but it’ll work out in a way Some will leave and everyone will change Life is less like a movie, more like a revolving stage And don't you fret when life seems to subtract Cuz everything it adds will keep you on track And don’t be afraid of having to take a step back Just take two steps forward on a different path Remember how the game I played on you used to end? With me saying “boo” and you laughing, excited Then hugging you and saying I’d be around ‘till the end I can assure you that’s a promise that I’ll have kept And wherever life takes you I wish you the best Because you deserve the best and nothing less Just know wherever you go, you are loved And not even 3000 miles can separate us

I am a dream, the American Dream Say it with me, we are the American Dream They’re killing people in the streets Black boys and girls dying in the streets Minorities in the hands of police Filming only adds to the obscenity Love my country, hate what that means The war on drugs, militarized police Love my country, don’t know if I’d leave But can't stay if this is how it’s gonna be Love my people, wish they’d love me Not the first on the scene but the last to leave Love my people, wish they’d love each other If we can love ourselves we can love one another Feel like I used to be someone Now a cog in a machine that produces nothing Afraid of my own irrelevancy In a world fueled by corporate greed Money and power over everything Still waiting to hear freedom ring But now we’re in chains that we can’t see Too busy scrolling through a twitter feed Alone but connected to everything Alienation is how they’ve conquered me They’ll conquer you too, just wait and see Hashtag your way through a wilhelm scream Sedated you with complacency Prescription pills and shitty tv They'll make you think you don’t own a thing You’re property to them, not a human being Fucked our way to the bottom of a pyramid scheme Trickle-down economics feeding the stream When you’re raised in shit, shit is all you’ll see They’ll educate you enough to fund their means They’ll lose a battle, but they’ve won this war They already own the things you’re fighting for They know only losers keep score Cuz pacifism never won any wars They’ll divide you with race and class all day But we’re not different, we’re the fucking same So if you’re tired of playing their game Stop allowing them to divide and conquer I am a dream, the American Dream Say it with me, we’re the American Dream I am a dream, the American Dream Say it with me, we’re the American Dream

Pour one out for my main man Mikey Then take a sip for the life inside me Kept calm when mom tried to chide me She thought she saw the devil inside me Nah ma, that’s social anxiety A rebellion against your propriety Tattoos on my skin, ink runnin’ through me I write a lot of poems, smoke a lot of trees Then I drink some Walker and rap to beats So high on the mic no one can reach me Who’s that guy on the mic? A cruel fucker But his beats are tight, rhymes hot as summer Social Anxiety, you can call me Mando Just like dad, with a flow like the Congo And a libido that rivals the best of the Mongols Better solo, don’t need a fuckin’ ensemble [Pre-Chorus:] (x2) Fuck yeah, I do damage Fuck yeah, my brain is ravaged Fuck yeah, I’m the whole package If UPS dropped it in transit [Chorus:] Up all night ‘till the break of dawn Give me a girl or give me a song Up all night, no reason why Might be high or might be dry Up all night ‘till the break of dawn Another idea, another song Up all night, every reason why Not that high, swear I’m not that high I'll be a rockstar like you’ve never seen Kanye on acid with better beats I bring the beef like Burger King Till PETA decides to boycott me An atomic bomb to the music scene But I’ll resurrect it like some Jesus feat Writing songs to bring crowds to their feet While my haters swiftly get on their knees So thanks to those who fuck with me My hypomania gets some solid traffic Finally landing a solid demographic Weirdos who like it when I rap shit Cuz everything I spit is fuckin’ honest And even though it pops, it’s far from flawless And even though I’m off, I’m fuckin’ on it Social Anxiety, part-time prophet [Pre-Chorus] (x2) [Chorus] They call me pop, so my shit must pop They call me rock, so my shit must rock If you couldn’t tell, I pulled out all the stops To show you why I should be on top Doesn’t matter what you did or what you’ve been All that matters is where you are in the end Could’ve been a dope rapper or a good human But I’m doing both to make a statement I get high and eat farmers market finds Not rapping for cash, rapping as vice This is more than music, it’s a way of life Social Anxiety taught me how to survive Dealt a short straw in a family of 5 Of people who never thought I’d make it out alive But prayed to god that I would find the light God may be dead but Armando thrives [Pre-Chorus] (x2) [Chorus]

I’m not slept on, the world’s comatose They’re stuck in lalaland while I stay woke But if I rap like this and spit real shit Maybe they’ll catch on quick and see that I’m legit I tried to find the philosophy in the monotony Till this girl suckered me into monogamy And honestly, I know she sees the flaws in me But she’s the type that can see beyond these things I’m holy like a dartboard, dark like a Sith lord Connected to a motherboard of dark arts like Voldemort This is for every girl I bought a bouquet for Who turned this pen of mine into a flaming broadsword Get it “broad sword?” How many would I slay for? How many have I slaved for only to say no more? How many have I changed for only to pay for? New year, same me, fuck your fake decor Promoting positivity as a pessimist The actions of an aspiring hypocrite Needed food for thought, so I took a sheet of acid A feast for psychonauts who only follow white rabbits How did I get this big? Better go ask Alice I’ve traveled these blocks, incited these mobs ‘till the only thing in my hand was a blunt to cop And a few kindred spirits ready to let shit pop So I party like a rockstar, fuck like a pornstar Said hello to the Pharcyde, adopted the dark side Indie hip-hop ‘till I die, epitaph inscribed Hope my stage name’s in my obituary headline Cuz anxiety’s a cage, born Coppola Watch me get radio play without a payola Been spittin’ real shit since ya’ll had Motorola’s I’m laying down the law like the ayatollah

We gave scraps to the patsy’s, junk to the bad seeds Funk to the jazz scene, punk to the upheave Gave my heart to a sad scene of down kings Drowning out the silence with a chemical cleanse Johnnie Walker mends, china white ends Acid kills the belief in pretend Marijuana lends a helping hand Dear god, we’ve got a psychonaut on our hands Suburban angst on psychotropics Try to hate but you admire my focus Oh shit I keep dropping dope shit Stealing fire like Prometheus The truth of the matter is I’m not bogus An act of god like a swarm of locusts Take girls out just to fuck the hostess Stepping stones to remind I’m broken Out of my mind, the prognosis Is I’m dead to your diagnosis Yes the victim of a psychosis Don’t need to tell me twice, I know it Got a winning hand, don’t need to show it High in demand, strange devotion Never hold back, fuck their motives Never give in, fuck their notions Got a self-induced rhythmic tick That provokes me to rap like this An army of synthesized theme music A long, hard road to artificial bliss My life’s a collection of chin music Satisfaction remains elusive The older I get, the more I like seclusion Social anxiety made me reclusive And that’s what I get for my delusions A bottle of Jack’s and a star on the map I’m a savage, no way around that So this might be the last shot I ever get To display affection for the art of death To ingrain direction into each last breath To supplant transgressions too complex For the mind of man to comprehend I’m not perfect but I know I’m worth it Fuck everyone who thinks that I’m worthless I’m not perfect but I know I’ve earned this Fuck everyone who thinks I don’t deserve it I’m an artist who provides a service The soundtrack to discovering purpose There’s more to you, of that I’m certain You’re not the only one this world is versus You’re not the only one who’s always hurting Cuz death and I are always flirting And we’ll keep it up till she calls curtains I’m less of a lover, more like a servant But life’s the one who’s been observant And the love she displays is so fervent But our relationship’s subversive So the entire world looks to pervert it

Who the fuck are you? What the fuck can you do? Curbstomped passion out of misled habits Till the kids in the crowd dubbed me silly rabbit Gave up magic to be savage Chasin' dreams the way junkies chase dragons I’m holy, controlling, yet you think you really know me My soul bleeds, it shows me you can never really slow me If all the world’s a stage I’m a Tony award winner In a play about selling god to sinners I’m a rat in a cage eating the cat for dinner Rehab taught me that drugs aren’t for quitters I’m an acid trip away from a mental ward I’m an asshole in ways that you can’t ignore Won commendations from these mental wars Cuz I had the nerve to use my pen like a sword Fucked up on the drugs my parents abhor ‘Till a syllable count seemed like a high score Fuck a county bed, rather sleep on the floor Freelance romantic and full time whore I’ve been wearing down my vocal cords While people I know make it onto Forbes Finally know what I’m looking for And it ain’t a fucking Grammy award Finally know what I’m leaning towards A no gods, no masters kind of discourse Finally know where I’m headed for A revolution is brewing just above these chords Finally see what I’m good for Mobilizing you into a force Finally see what I’m working for Much closer in reach than ever before [x16] Who the fuck are you? What the fuck can you do? If you want change, then be it All you do is talk but can’t see that If you want things to be okay Then you have to set the present tense If you want the paradigm to shift Then you might have to kill the precedent If you want to stand taller Stand on the backs of giants If you want to live freely Refuse to be compliant If you want to hit deeply Stab with defiance If you want it completely You have to build an alliance Wondered why they treat us like pawns in excess suppliance But I’ve come to realize We’re all the cogs in this appliance So if we set our sights On dismantling this reliance I think we’d come to find Autonomy is a new science I’ve torn out my insides To find the idea they implanted That made me just like them Enchanted by commandments But I was thrilled by the slightest of doubts that plagued my mind Until those doubts festered Giving purpose to this fight Cuz this systems on self-destruct Unless we guide it into the light So that when things unravel It’ll be blinded by our might And the world will go to shambles Before it sees we’re right So we have to stay steadfast Such is the nature of our plight

Handcuffs on my heart, that’s cardiac arrest I’ll play William Tell like Burroughs with one bullet left It’s russian roulette with symptoms left unchecked I’m comatose at best, she’s a disease of the head Fuck, marry, kill, as if there’s nothing to invest At a standstill, there’s a stalemate in my bed Cuz we play this game of chess so close to our chest Love’s not dead, that’s just a delusion we invent The Maker’s Mark leaves a scar on my lover’s arms I cried myself to sleep, you asked when it rained so hard Six feet under my art lies a heart torn apart By a world of morning glories mourning a false start I've wished for the end just to see what comes next But came to realize all roads end in death I wish things would last but that’s not what I get So I’ll wish for a song that gets me out of my head Get my lion's share of hunting snares in predatory love affairs But I don't chase the day unless it’s up a flight of stairs Leading to a room with a panoramic view Most people die for nothing, with everything to lose Wear this halo like a noose, dangle strangled from a spruce Personified my end and then she dyed her hair blue Entombed in her hues, dancing down dark avenues I’m patient with my ruse, it’s my greatest virtue I’m blue over news and I might not see this through I’m groomed for abuse and neglect to my point of view I’m doomed to a truth that I’ll never be right for you It’s gloom in my room, it feels more like a tomb But in the dark I’ve seen the most patient flowers bloom In my heart lies a force that is as tired as you But there’s no time to rest when you’re surrounded by these views So I’ll keep moving forward with plenty left to do I’m screwed by a rule that says I cannot mend this bruise I’ve succumbed to cues providing roads to choose I’m lost from lack of use and I’ll never stop paying dues To a world that refuses to acknowledge their misuse I’m in love with a muse that others think is an excuse I’m entranced by the fire in her that lights my fuse It ignites a chain reaction when these dark clouds start to loom And breathes life into the very womb that is my nom de plume I’ve ignored the beauty that surrounds all this doom and gloom I’ve squandered second chances given by kinder hearts than you To realize these are my chickens coming home to roost Today I see that I’m better off without you Maybe being happy involves some sort of truce Between the flowers you’ve grown and their roots And maybe the only thing there is left to do Is embrace life when it’s colors diffuse

My dialogue is damaged, product of an addict Despite the abuse, it’s no Flowers in the Attic I’m the funnier Belushi, speedball the panic To provide an excuse to appear this manic Was I Darby Crash trying to silence the static? Or Dexter Morgan trying to subdue the habit? Samuel Beckett with a flair for the dramatic? The past did it’s job and fully wreaked havoc Somewhere the spark became an atomic blast That leveled the mountain and created a path Somewhere the fire engulfed every part of my act Until only what is real remained intact What you see right now is only a second draft Of a script of a film with a revolving cast While you were busy writing on what I lack I was building up momentum to ensue my attack My psyche is ravaged, well-versed in madness Weathered and savage, we’re all fluent in sadness I’m picking apart the pieces of this grandness And adding different hues of blue to the canvas Some lighter than others bordering on blackness Some well-crafted, others need practice Oceans in depth or superficial and callous But part of progression is perfecting the balance “Love + Other Drugs” sucked, on some level I knew that Everything inside me just wanted to spew black But if it helped you get up and try to bounce back Then I guess the success outweighs the drawbacks Finnegan’s Wake, I’m cyclical in my setbacks I’m Fox News, takin’ liberties with these facts Valentine Smith, a stranger in a strange land Spreading testimony like this track’s a witness stand “You’re more slept on than a mattress” she said I know, that’s why girls like you keep taking me to bed Honest to a fault about the monsters in my head I’ll keep you around if you silence them for a second Dead Poets Society, every day’s a life lesson Groundhog Day ‘til I’ve perfected my methods John McClane ‘til I die hard with a vengeance But there’s no end in sight for the young and the restless I’m an ace of spades, call me a lucky draw Saw what broke the camel’s back, it wasn’t a straw A pig in a blanket, like I’ve slept with the law I’m a cheap buzz, like a glass of Stella Artois Running the same lines awaiting different replies A typecast actor forced to improvise When the voices in my head start to harmonize I think what if god was really just the devil in disguise?

I can’t go a minute without a compliment You’d probably think I wasn’t too confident But I think my grandeur is evident And that you should all be reverent Cuz I can’t go a day without pissing excellence After a lifetime of champion breakfasts My morning B.M. spells “you’re the shit” And my reflection writes back “you’re legit” I can’t go a month without an audience Of people to get naughty with Nothing gets me off more than a stage that’s lit And a bunch of bouncing souls in a pit Cuz I can’t go a day without some recklessness My parents try to blame on my mental illness My psychiatrist will write me any script Just to get me to stop talking about my dick I can’t go a minute without the obvious Properly attributing to my godliness It’s like I think success will erase where I’ve been And right any wrong I’ve ever spoken And you all might think that I’m a narcissist If you knew how much I’ve blown my reflection a kiss Or how much time I spend in the mirror Making sure my hair looks perfectly off-kilter Na na na Na na na I’m so vain Na na na Na na na How do you not know my name? I often quote my lyrics in conversation I often think that I’m the talk of the nation I often imbibe chemicals to drown my indignation I often lie in attempt to hide my limitations I often compliment in backhanded statements I often talk my way into your bed and play dead I often walk my way straight into your head I often make my home in your heart instead I often drown my sorrows over vacant spaces I often misconstrue the rules of engagement I often disapprove of what’s on radio stations I often abuse my own celebrations I often get tired with staying stagnant I often inspire to never face it I often transpire to escape instead I often fear I will push away again I often can’t believe what I’ve been faced with I often can’t see how far I’ve been I often can’t taste what life’s been laced with I often can’t see how much I’ve bled I often can’t love you the way I see fit I often know things are all in my head I often can’t get over past replacements I often fail to remove my emptiness [x3] Na na na Na na na You’re so vain Na na na Na na na How do I not know your name? Na na na Na na na You’re so vain Na na na Na na na How do I not know your fucking name?

Wasn’t till I cut through currents like a regatta That people forgave the persona non grata Got a new start, blank slate, tabula rasa Silencing demons with a cup of kava If home is where the heart is call this mi casa If this is the beginning, welcome to the saga Your lyrics are as dense as a lake of lava Mine are as essential as the vena cava I think the other me was just an imposter But I’m done wasting energy putting out fires In the right mind to let them burn brighter In the right mind to help them flames get higher I’ll be the gasoline if you’d be my lighter We’ll make our bed by lighting funeral pyres For the foolish people who thought we’d tire One day they’ll see we were the purifiers [Chorus:] When we blow up big they’ll call us extreme You be the spark, I’ll be the gasoline When we’re the talk of the town they’ll say anything But the truth is we won’t be listening When we blow our load they’ll call us obscene You be the bark, I’ll be the teeth When we’re the talk of the town they’ll say anything But we didn’t get this far by listening Wasn’t till I cut through tracks like a Ferrari And fried these other rappers like calamari They acted like I’m the rap game Mata Hari But what will they say when they see my army? In a world of Ken’s looking for their Barbie I’m a Clyde who finally found his Bonnie They’re saying one day I’ll crash like Darby But I’ll clean up like a roll of Brawny I think the new me is kind of a rockstar A cynosure released from a bell jar I don’t know where I’m going but I know it’s far Even if I have to get in with a goddamn crowbar I’m always hanging by a thread due to sheer desire But I guess it’s my fault for walking on this high wire When life resorts to being a long quagmire You’ve got to fight fire with fire [Chorus] (x3)

I commandeered this car to drive it off of a cliff That’s my life summarized in a single sentence I drowned my delusions by drinking a fifth That’s hook, line, and sinker for an alcoholic I can’t recall a time I wasn’t chasing this bliss Maybe as kid before the death drive kicked in Just wanted to know something different Than these shitty archaic force fed isms Life’s an empty march to an unfulfilling end Its abuse is silenced ‘till the high is spent I’m scared of the quiet yet I cherish it Awkward ideals of aspiring hypocrites When did agony become such a taboo subject? I thought we were all familiar with it I was alive to the world but dead to myself In this ouroboros, Dante’s third circle of hell [Chorus] I did all the drugs and I liked them Escaped the mundane through pharmaceutical bliss But I’ve had my fun, now I’m over it Cuz I did all the drugs and I liked them That was the fucking problem Life’s the kind of girl that never leaves your bed Cuz she only works in theory not application I can’t recall a time where I felt content So I played with neurotransmitters, flirting with death Suicidal ideation magnified by drug addicts And psychonautic exploration through acid trips Sedation subdued the humiliation over not replicating the first inebriation Flew towards the storm ‘cause it’s all I had left That’s my death put best by metaphorical jest I sedated illusion by smoking a quarter In an effort to put my disorders to bed When did pain become something to circumvent like I was running headfirst into oncoming traffic? Was alive on the outside but dead in my depths Now I play four chords to explore its effects [Chorus] (x2) I can’t keep going back! I can’t keep going – [Chorus] (x2)

I’m the semblance of a wreckage But you validated my methods And fed the fire of my message And never once saw me as reckless I’m insecure in my intentions And paranoid until I’m senseless But if this head of mine’s a prison You stole the key from the warden Hope I make you feel important Hope I can keep you in my orbit Hope I make you feel that warmness Hope I can love all of your portions ‘cause you make me feel euphoric And I can no longer ignore it So now I want to explore it Let’s hit the gas and floor it You’re familiar like a chorus In your presence I find solace You make me go through a thesaurus To find other words for gorgeous And even though I am always cautious It’s ‘cause I’m afraid of appearing thoughtless I want to give you wings to lift off with My heart will be your nest, as promised I’m a lesson in romantics When you’re distracted by my antics I want to circumvent your panic And heal some of your damage You said you have too much baggage But it’s ‘cause you’re the whole package So if we set these precedents It’s in an attempt to overthrow them ‘cause I’m over feeling hopeless My heart is no longer homeless I hope you feel like I am worth it ‘cause sometimes I feel I don’t deserve this Since I met you I’ve found my purpose To go beyond what makes me nervous Trust me, you don’t have to be perfect To be perfectly worth it I got lost in your cadence And high off your fragrance This heart that was vacant Is now a bustling station I get caught up in this placement When I should love you with patience If this leads to an engagement Let our love serve as a statement I’ll speak of you ‘till I’m out of adjectives Cuz I want the world to know I’ve got the greatest chick And one day we are gonna run the earth Don’t underestimate what I’d do for you girl We’re warriors by definition, lovers by decision I wasn’t looking for you when you walked into my vision But the spark we made was like nuclear fission This spark illuminated all you had given We’re going to take over this world of cynics And climb mountains to test our limits Some days our egos will mimic the image But most days we’ll intertwine our spirits Been patiently waiting with the eyes of a critic But now I see we are exactly what we exhibit And I wouldn’t trade this view for any gimmicks Not when I’ve got things I never thought I’d be given I’m all messed up from my daily existence But you don’t seem to mind so I hold on for dear life At any given moment you envelope my mind And then for a moment all is silent inside We’ve all got baggage but you help carry mine And I’m going to repay you for it for the rest of my life If anything goes, I’ll take this as far as it flies Maybe if I’m lucky we’ll even meet in the next life I’m no longer doing this alone, I’m doing it with you Little did I know my life’s a tango meant for two I spent my life stuck in rooms with windowless views I forgot the colors outside could transcend such hues You’ll never fight alone, I’ll be there right beside you We’ll take on the whole world and they will still lose I spent my life stuck in tombs forgetting the truth That life is for the living despite all it’s abuse I’m learning how to love and be there for you You’re doing the same for me, it’s kind of cute It’s been so long since these parts of me shined through Just like the way they seem to do for you I can’t recall a moment where I wasn’t torn in two But you stitched me up nicely and kissed the wound You’ve been patient and calm while I pay my dues And I have the right mind to spend my life with you

[Armando:] The name’s Armando and I’m an overthinker And tonight I’ll take the form of a binge drinker Sedating the mess in me with expensive liquor Nothing else kills off the static quicker It’s a symptom of another problem, I kinda figured But I’ve taken to giving these thoughts the middle finger Especially when the darkest ones can’t help but linger Till the voices in my head become a dead ringer I’m scared my girl will leave me for someone better Because I know deep down anyone else is better And I know but I can’t help but sound kind of bitter But mom and dad didn’t raise no fucking quitter The anxiety’s got me spewing out my inner demons In the form of Popeye’s fried chicken I’m a diamond in the rough that’s failed to glisten I’ve said it before you all failed to listen Worried people think that I’m full of shit But honestly I’m as real as I can get Worried I’m too much of a masochist And I’ll drive away whoever is left Worried that I’ll never believe the myth We aren’t responsible for others happiness Worried that I’ll never come to admit Some people like being around this Scared to death things won’t work out a bit But doing my best to handle it Scared to death but I know better than to quit I’m on the cusp of something more legit I’m alive and goddammit I will thrive Cuz life ain’t a life when you’re just tryna survive I’m alive and goddammit I will ignite Every motherfucker who steps to into my light I’m patient with the process so I’m never surprised Cuz things will flip 180 in the blink of an eye I know life can seem to leave you high and dry But some will be the oxygen to the spark you ignite And if they really love you they’ll come along for the ride Just happy to accompany someone ready to shine If they really love you they won’t be afraid to rise We’re all in this together, when you fly, I fly I’m afraid happiness is more fleeting than life So I made sure I’ve got good passengers on this ride But I’m surrounded by love even when I’m out of line Just gotta remember that when these doubts arrive I think I’ve realized everything will be alright I’m not golden but I glitter under the right kind of light And have people who won’t downplay my might As I make these moves, break these chains, and take these strides

You never see what you have ‘till the room starts spinning You never see how much you’ve lost ‘till you start winning You never see what things cost ‘till you’ve spent your last penny You never see who is gone ‘till they can’t text back they’re ready I’ve got a lot of dead friends who met dead ends, I’m deadened I’d like to say they’re in heaven but I can’t pretend that’s where I’m headed I’m not afraid of the end, I’m just afraid of it being for nothing I’m not afraid of living, I’m just afraid I’m not living for something You never see where you’re at ‘till the walls start caving in You never see nothing lasts ‘till you’re burying family and friends You never see that you can ‘till your loved ones say you can’t You never see you can stand ‘till you fall back down again I’ve got a lot of dark thoughts about dark spots, I’m darkly wrought Some days are better than others, but most of them I’m just distraught I’m not afraid of the end, I’m just afraid of nobody caring I’m not afraid of living, I’m just afraid ‘cause depression is scary You never see who you’re not ‘till your reflection is clear You never see where you’ve gone ‘till the end is near You never see everyone’s lost ‘till no one is there You never see you’re the one ‘till no one else compares I’ve had a lot of good times and bad times, they’ve all gotta count for something But at the end of the day I’m afraid that my pain will mean nothing I’m not afraid of the end, I’m just afraid it’s already coming I’m not afraid of living, I’m just afraid I’m living for the wrong thing You never see what they gave ‘till you’re trying to do the same You never see your true place ‘till you get caught up in those chains You never see what’s fake ‘till something real comes your way You never see true hate ‘till you try to love what you create I’ve got a lot of spent days circling my brain like a plane waiting for a lane But the runways aren’t open and I’m running out of gas in this tank I’m not afraid of the end, I’m just trying to delay destruction I’m not afraid of living, I’m just trying to make it more constructive And I’m holding on… I’m holding on… I’ll keep holding on… I’m holding on...

I hope you know me as love I’ve known myself as a crutch Sometimes I give too much Most times it’s not enough I hope you know me as love You shine as bright as the sun Sometimes I care too much I hope you see what I’ve done I hope you know me as love You’ll have the world in your palm Every time we say goodbye Know that another hello will come I hope you know me as love You shine as bright as the sun Sometimes I don’t feel good enough But then your smile picks me back up I hope you know me as love I’ve known myself far too long I’ve known life to beg for a crutch I hope you go beyond where I’ve gone I hope you know me as love You’ll shine as bright as the sun Sometimes it gets to be too much But you’ve helped teach me how to love I hope you know me as love Sometimes I feel things too much You’ll know exactly where I’ve been So you can find peace from within I hope you know me as love You’ll shine as bright as the sun Sometimes I think I’m overdone But you help make me feel like someone Hope you know me as love...

Hypomanic panic, tolerance of the addict Junkie for a fascist, imbibed on the Sabbath Anecdotal passions, serving others habits Foolish till the last hit, they think I’m kind of batshit Native to the Dhara, alien to the perma Passing through the dharma, circumventing karma Curmudgeon verging on blatant anachronism Yet nihilistically optimistic about anarchism Let’s party till we’re reckless, end our lives mid sentence Fuck up their reign, this government’s our warden If democracy’s a prison I will never be conformist The only way to beat them is to turn up the distortion Eat acid, see yourself as energy in motion You’re never really still even when you feel frozen You’re never really dead, you just become formless No longer bound by the chains of a human fortress You never really live until you see yourself in portions We’re all imperfect beings, but we’re poetry in motion Life is best done in bursts of infinite devotion We’re just the algae floating in this cosmic ocean You never really give until you're empty and avoidant We’re all imperfect beings, but we’re properly distorted By the social constructs we set to divide our notions You’re so much more than an influx of emotions And when it’s said and done you’ll have meant something important To the few soul mates who never fell out of your orbit And you will live on in your ideas and in portraits And the energy you pass onto all that absorbs it I just want you to know if things get dark from here on out That your heart’s a work of art from your birth to when it gives out And the revolutions that you start are fires that will never burn out So don’t take it to heart the times life leaves you down and out Your pain has a purpose just as much as the happiness you doubt And the importance of your message will be more than haters you amount And the scars you collect will be reminders of how far you’ve climbed out And the love that you gave others is what people will talk about Don’t let them try to tell you that you’re not magnificent in every way Your flaws can be your attributes if you think of them that way And someone will love you for all that you are someday Don’t let them sell you on the lie it’s impossible to change Don’t let them try to tell you that you’ll never pull your weight The load only grows but the weight gets easier to take And someone will do their part to share that burden one day And you’ll carry each other with every step you take I know things are hard right now but this too shall pass Happiness you constantly work at is happiness that lasts Success cannot be measured it can only be embraced But everyone who acquires it keeps it going at their own pace One day the world will know you by the positivity you create One day you’ll look back on all of this with a smile on your face One day all that you have gone through will have not been in vain Because everything you’ve got will have been built in its wake

My name is paranoia And I’m coming for ya I’m more than an annoyance I’m your attempt at clairvoyance When everything is moving And life feels like it’s grooving I’m a humble reminder Of all you’re at risk of losing I’m that voice inside your head That says you’re better off dead I’m the sense of overwhelming dread That hits you every morning in bed I’m the fears that creep up inside Everytime she says goodnight or goodbye It’s like I don’t believe I’m a worthy guy It’s like I don’t believe I deserve this life When all it comes down to is chasing the right highs I’ll step short of every goal in my sights Maybe the anxiety is right and I’m trite How’d I get so distrustful of the people in my life? When they so clearly see the good I hide inside How’d I get so distrustful of all that I’ve brought to life? When I can see the hope it puts in people’s eyes How’d I get so caught up in my own damn plights? When there are others who look at me to guide How’d I get so caught up in this web of lies? When there’s a world of truth staring straight into my eyes Why am I so preoccupied with the figments of my mind? When all they do is push me away from Jenn and Makai Why am I so burdened by things that drive me to fright? When all I want to do is stay with them for life Why am I so preoccupied with what others think is right? When all it does is make the world bleed and cry Why am I so burdened by thoughts that fester in my mind? This head is a prison of my own design Wish I could accept the parts of me that survived Instead of looking down on them for reaching for the light Hope the people who hear my music find their inner might And use it to their advantage when sunshine is slight Wish I could forget the parts of me I let die Instead of romanticizing them back to life Hope the people that are left stay right by my side And love me for the parts I can no longer hide My name is depression I’m a lesson in repression A constant reminder You’re not in the clear When everything is moving And it’s all too fast The last, dying gasp Of a faltering man I’m that sense of impending end You can’t remove from your head I’m the voice in it that says You’ll never be happy again I’m the dark that tries hide the light So I worry that my bright is too slight It’s like I don’t believe I’m a good guy It’s like I don’t believe I deserve this life When all it comes down to is telling the right lie I’ll step in the way of every car in sight I’ve feared that’d be my fate this entire time What’s left to exclaim when all that’s left is a guise to protect you all from the darkness inside? What’s left to engrain when you’re a dull knife parading around as the sharpest tool alive? What’s left to forsake when life’s a statement of vice appropriated by rotating spectrums of highs? What’s left to debase once there’s a flood inside and you’ve drowned any remaining signs of life? Why am I so preoccupied with always being right While love and adoration pass right before my eyes? How’d I get so caught up in this tangled web of vice That causes me to inhabit this darker shade of night Why can’t I let up off this urge to state my mind I’ve come to terms that I’m the deaf leading the blind Why can’t I forget everything that left me maligned? When hope and happiness is well within sight Wish I could accept the parts of me that survived Instead of killing them with every drug in sight Hope the ones that are left continue to confide And love me for the parts that continue to collide My name is hope I’m more than a trope I’m a pleasant reminder Things get better from here When everything is moving And it all seems too good I’m focusing on what I have Rather than what I could I’m that sense of approaching relief You get from living your dream I’m the voice in you that says The good times are coming again I’m the sliver of light tries to shine bright ‘cause the stars are brightest on the darkest of nights It’s like I don’t believe I’m completely trite It’s like I know deep down things will be alright When all it comes down to is seeing the signs I’ll step towards the light with a little fight I’m thinking I was born to do this the whole time What’s left to lose when you’re adrift but the shores in sight? You might as well swim to it with all of your might What’s left to gain when you’ve lost your bite? Here’s to willing the impossible to life What’s left of mistakes when they taught you wrong from right? I’ve come to see I won’t measure up sometimes What’s left to partake in when you’ve tried it all twice? And all it did was leave you deaf, dumb, and blind Why am I so preoccupied with always feeling right? There’s lessons to be learned in the loneliest of nights Why am I so caught up in this web of tries? When I know the universe likes to speak through surprise How’d I get so torn up just from living my life? My collateral damage stretches for miles at both sides Why should I let up when her beauty draws the line? And she’s been right across the street the entire time I’m trying to accept the parts of me that survived And hold them with two hands up to the light Hope the people left are treated with pride And love me for the parts I no longer deride My name is happiness I’m the reason you exist A defining reminder There’s a reason you’re here When everything is moving Some things are meant to last One last selfish act Of a changing man I’m the voice inside your head That says keep looking ahead I’m the sense of impending ascent That you hope becomes a trend I’m the tears of joy you don’t have to hide ‘Cause for the first time in your life you feel alive It’s like I finally see I’m full of love inside It’s like I finally see everything will be fine When all it comes down to is putting in the time I’ll step forward with every bit of strength that resides Everything’s been leading up to this the whole time What’s left to hold back when things start to align? It’s never perfect but it’s worth it, that much has been surmised What’s left to ignore when all is laid before your eyes? My purpose is to search for signs of life in all I find What’s left to embrace when you’re living in its light? Let the rays of the sun lead you to your birthright What’s left to retrace when everything’s art to your eyes And all it did was teach you how to love without guise It’s time I preoccupied my mind with doing what is right I’m a father now, I don’t have time to leave these fears alive I’m untangling myself from this web I’ve devised I know now that it was just a lesson meant for reprise How’d I come this far and end up in paradise? Don’t look back until you’ve reached the summit of the divine Why be torn when she put me back together over time? She’s a blessing, I hope she knows the extent of her might Why should I give up when life is just getting sublime? I promise to treat it like the chance of a lifetime Why should I let up when I’ve earned this time to shine? I honestly thought I’d live in perpetual night I’ve finally accepted the parts of me that survived And see that they were my strengths this entire time Hope whoever follows this path finds the beauty in its plight And loves it for the moments that became essential to life

Bumpin’ new shit in the whip with a dope chick She got a kid so the hustle in her don’t quit I ain’t rich, I ain’t shit but let’s see what this gets So the clock will continue to tick, tick, tick, tick Green tea fix cuz the drinks and the drugs don’t mix Learned this from a slipped disc in a crash that stole bliss The best coast stole a ghost from the parasite’s host, shit At most I will boast about the cost of this trope for a dope hit You know I’m on ropes for a drug that I won’t kick Toke on a smoke for a high that I can’t quit Invoke all the jokes ‘cause this part has no kick Implode all the modes ‘cause this deal’s got no vig Go for throats with the knife you used to slit wrists Go for gold if silver’s a sliver of what life gives When you see every bad bitch earned good dick You won’t quit ‘cause if life’s a trip, it’ll be done quick You don’t have a career, you’re an indentured servant And a social security check is the lube they’re using So that makes you a sex slave to capitalism’s delusion That you can have it all without ever truly abusing it All mind over matter ever got me was rampant disaster These fucks should cut the laughter before I cut out their bladders Fat pigs in suit and ties to hide the wolf in their chatter Chasing sheeple off a cliff cuz they easily scatter All these cats trying to be the next Aesop when they're more A$AP So I put a bomb in the backpack rap and now I'm more boom than bap My girlfriend is waiting on the track that puts me on the map So I'm attacking this rap like I'm on a felony path I’ve desired to walk the path of an artist wearing a mask But these metaphors still lead you to the truth too fast They say I’m as empty as the flask hidden in my desk Well, that explains some of the voices in my head That keep leading me to dizziness and shortness of breath You’re only ever as alive as the energy put into your death So somehow I’m still buckled into a bumpy ride On a bridge deciding between accidental death or suicide ‘Cause everyone always assumes that they’re good to drive I’ve learned enough to know everything’s meant to collide I’ve lived long enough to see all birds aren’t meant to fly So I try to forget about these useless wings by chasing different highs Studied the thoughts that led me to oblivion Cherished the rot that led to indifference Perished on top of a mountain of ignorance All in order to make money off of deliverance I’d pay for peace of mind but it’s so hard to find All the love inside just helps my anxiety rise I’d pay for more time if I was sure I’d be fine But there’s a few things I saw on the other side I’ve been waiting all my life to feel this alive It’s offset by the perfect amount of feeling dead inside I’ve been waiting a long time to experience this high Just didn’t expect for it to be so nearby Realized I’m more villainous than indifferent ‘Cause my body count just hit double digits Realized I’m more Ian Curtis than Sid Vicious If love tears me apart then I say good riddance Graduated past human form into a prism That lives like a Dali locked away in a prison I’m not rapping to beats I’m rapping to beat sleep I’m rapping to beat these cheats that herd us like sheep I’m vilifying all these fucking presidential decrees ‘Till you correlate Social Anxiety with obscenity I’ve got the biggest mouth in the room and the sharpest knife too So I’m always ready to talk shit and castrate ego’s in bloom If I go to bed empty now it’s all on me ‘cause she fills me up with all I need constantly But there’s a voice in my head nagging at me Sayin’ I don’t deserve to make realities of my dreams I’m so fucked up now it’s getting hard to sleep ‘cause she’s everything I need and don’t want her to leave I’m so fucked up now it’s getting hard to breathe ‘cause I keep confusing primal needs for bad dreams If I can get through this phase then I’ll be fine That’s when the darker parts of me like to collide ‘cause when she’s in my view all these voices subside There’s an elegant truth in pretending you’re alright

Girl, I’m an abscess that landed on your mattress Watch as I backflip a script to numb the panic Fade to the blackness, I always bring the tragic Pain in a status, I always bring the havoc Cut to the madness, get high off the static Fuck with a savage with nothing to salvage Bury your baggage with a habit to bandage Smoke the solutions, buzz off the acid Wear these contusions to cause a nuisance Hang off the noose end from a thick neck Dive with purpose into the deep end Life’s too short to not kill bad friends I hate you all I hate you all I hate you all I’d watch you fall I hate you all I hate you all I hate you all I’d make you fall Hate on display so here take a plate Fill it up to displace things the internet creates Lay me to waste with baggage to claim But my girl carries it with a smile on her face Her and Kai are drops of love in a pit of hate I can’t control the emptiness life engrains I can’t control where the bloodstains remain If it’s all in my head I think I need a new brain Mark a date to never be saved Don’t believe in god, he’s a delusion of the sane Did all the drugs to find my higher brain Drank ayahuasca till I escaped mind states If the chick hit you with a can of mace That means you should get outta her face Back down boy, there’ll be problems today If ya don’t cut out that fuckboy shit right away I shouldn’t have to say half the things I say But you’re all a bunch of idiots with shit for brains Water is life, can’t drink oil dummy Black lives matter, end of story I’m wasting days at the thought of this pace Anxiety is willing my haste away I’m carving my name into the walk of fame Like I graffitied Ronald Reagan’s grave My story’s filled with chapters where I almost hung from rafters All because the world doesn’t Like me as a rapper Now I’m numb to chatter And little pitter-patters ‘Cause I’ve come to the conclusion You’re all a bunch of actors Simply a disaster putting mind over matter and now I don’t matter Cut to the banter I’m trying to break Free of these chains They comes as thoughts That drive me insane I’m trying to make A name for this pain It comes in waves To engulf my brain

My reality is latent addiction Habits listed on a google doc around the clock I’m an acid trip with a sadistic twist The kind that’ll make me want to call the shots And the voices they never stop Long enough to let me cool off So now everybody’s writing me off ‘Cause they think I’ll never reach the top And I might not Might as well chock it up to a loss ‘Cause if life’s my lover we’re star-crossed You don’t wanna know what gets me off ‘Cause she’s only one that sets me off When I fell I never got back up She’s still collecting pieces of what I once was When we’re together this never lets up When her good met my ugly she still called it love I’ve been wondering where I went wrong Have I been this broken all along? Is she here with me to journey on? And are our hearts singing the same song? It all starts with a fling And either ends in love or a jump off the balcony When I started to sing It was to permeate through past the screams It all starts with a fling And either ends in love or face full of concrete When we started to sing I finally understood the point of Humpty Dumpty What will it take for the world to love me? When my whole world is way above me? I laid there in pieces on the concrete And you picked up the pieces and admired the gleam (I’m just trying to do right by you By doing right by me too And I know I’m pretty broken But that doesn’t seem to bother you I’m realizing that people can’t be put back together And that you should just admire the pieces for what they are I’m seeing that relationships function like dustpans But instead of throwing the pieces in the trash you put ‘em on display So the world can see that we’re all inherently broken But despite the chaos and the clutter we’re all worthy of love and affection And that no matter what road life takes us We can eventually end up going the right direction I’d like to thank you for putting up with me But you do so much more than put up with me You excite my inner desires till I’m living my fantasy You are my muse, every song I write embodies my love for you I love you You and only you Thank you)

A destitute aficionado, recluse with a bottle Playing loose going full throttle shatterin’ all the models Try it twice was the motto that got me this bravado Play it like the lotto ‘till the screams push the envelope I coddled the bottle ‘till the liquor made me wobble Swallowed all the sorrow ‘till the whiskey pardoned tomorrow Spent more than I borrowed, that’s a capitalist’s cargo Sorry never spared me the emptiness of this plateau Smiled like a scarecrow, shot like an arrow Spoke like a pharaoh wrapped up and reduced to bone marrow Walked the straight and narrow and all I got was an ego Acted like the hero but all they saw was a weirdo ¿Hola mi amor, puedo ir contigo? ¿Te sientes solo cuando no estás conmigo? I’ve learned a thing or two and added it to my lingo Got my ducks in a row like life’s a game of bingo Whenever I’m with her I feel like I’m halfway to real I’m almost human ‘cause she’s got me head over heels Syncopate the synchrony to comfort the company The physics of a slippery slope prevent me from being me So I’m smokin’ Sour D sliding into daydreams Slid into her DM’s and she awoke my love with ease Sometimes that leaves me trapped at the bottom of a ravine ‘Cause I’m so caught in my head you’d think my skull had teeth Diving headfirst into doubt before the ground I’m on gives out My disorder speaks but never look a gift horse in the mouth ‘Cause when you do you’ll see that only the truth ever comes out And that inkling of doubt is just your head wigging out A pauper and a prince, I’m the messiah to all masochists A pervert and a prude calling this mess what it is A hypocrite curtailing bliss for a figment of a tryst Antisocial atheist misdirecting spastic fits I’ve distorted my senses with discordian ethics Resorted to methods other deemed unpleasant To send forth a message of wasted adolescence And fed my depression through sordid transgressions I’ve explored the wreckage and been imploringly reckless Reduced my dimension to being reluctantly sentenced Inundated my presence with debauched lessons Of delinquent intentions that preserve my essence I’ve relinquished my control over escaping this terror Because a single day spent living is never in error I’ll continue to proceed through the stormiest weather Because I believe with all my heart things will get better They secure their success with rock the vote Novembers So we’ll secure our survival by becoming dissenters We’ll reduce these monuments to smoldering embers Because all they stand for is the illusion of shelter I’ve submitted to the discomfort of this specter Learned to thrive in the darkness under extreme pressure Made the gallows my home rather than just a measure To sacrifice my blood and bones for her love forever And whether or not we can embrace this gesture I’ll always think of you and I as a treasure So always remember when you start to feel weathered Grass is greener on the other side ‘cause the climate is wetter